House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

But I….

I wanted to write this thought provoking, brilliant blog today but I stayed up too late hacking and coughing, BUT I wrote about being a right fighter instead. I didn’t want to confuse my young son with my sarcasm when he didn’t clean up his toys. BUT I sang the clean up song my self and played basketball with the toy box. I didn’t want to keep up my sardonic wit parade BUT it’s a family trait and I’ve learned well from my Masters. I just tried to mix my sarcasm in with a dash of nice and kindness, so I’m a fair ratio kind of chick cookie. ? I really wanted to fold those 5 loads of laundry, BUT I have a smart phone and when it goes off with a text, notification, or phone call I’m like Pavlov’s dog salivating and waiting for my treat. I wanted to go for a walk in the sun instead of being overwhelmed by Mount “Laundry more”, BUT I wrote a blog about it instead. I spend so much time in my laundry room that I’ve installed a wine rack in there. If I have to do the job of keeping my family clothed, I might as well be happy (or drunk) doing it am I right?!!!! I feel guilty today because I should’ve returned those phone calls and emails when I had a spare moment, BUT I blew it all off so that I could watch Hercules for family movie night. Come on people it’s the “Rock” Dwayne Johnson join me in my puddle of drool over here. ? I really should’ve cleaned my house as it’s infected with cold/flu germs BUT my body was in pain from hacking the night before in a coughing fit. So when my little Mad dog said “Mama cuddle time?” I lovingly gave in. I really should’ve just hung up on that telemarketer phone scammer, BUT the force to argue when my B.S. detector is high is too strong. In fact anyone that attempts to blow sunshine up my ass when I know it’s raining, makes my argue meter go into overdrive. Like my son’s school officials when they thank me for coming in to complain about the umpteenth bully incident towards my son. I really should’ve worked out sometime this week, instead of just dragging myself off the couch to drop off and pick up my son and feed them both. BUT the thought of running on my tread mill made my bones ache, and my tummy want to hurl. ? I really should dig out the winter clothes before the arctic storm that’s going to hit the province with a thrashing, BUT I’m cozy in my fleece penguin pj’s and fuzzy blanket. I really need to get my hot tub set up before the impending snow storm, BUT I’m stuck in my fear of electrocuting myself or poisoning my family with improper chemicals ratios. I wish I could remember what my lucid nightmare was about before my Captain woke me by being inches away from my face. BUT all I can recall is there were shadows flying at my face and I screamed when I saw my son!!! I wish my heart would stop beating like a jack hammer thinking about that. BUT recalling how I woke up from my nightmare has me a little freaked out this morning. I need to jump into my shower and get ready to be super hockey Mom, BUT I’m sitting here enjoying chatting with you. Now in conclusion I’ve discovered I’d really be sad if the word BUT wasn’t in the Oxford dictionary. And now I would like to end this blog with something witty to wrap it up in a bright red bow. BUT I’m fresh out of ideas and instead I’ll thank you for reading my ramblings on this lovely Saturday morning. I thank you very much. ?

This has been my submission to http://LindaGHill.com Stream of Consciousness Saturday. Today’s prompt was the words but, bet, bit, etc. Please check out what Linda had to say and all the other talent that links up. ?

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Memory

I have a poor memory, it’s not something I like to admit but there it is. It’s not that I’ve always struggled with this, it was something that just happened. I had a photographic memory for phone numbers, birth dates, and numerology. I could relay people’s phone #’s addresses, and list their favorite movie titles when I was a video cashier. Then the day I became a Mom and I was gutted like a fish, and my babies entered the world there went my memory. I read everyday whether it’s book’s, blogs, research, or my Facebook newsfeed. I read to absorb, learn, and grow as a person. I wonder what would have happened to me, if I had regained my once amazing memory. If I hadn’t suffered 5 years of debilitating grief would my ability to retain information be different? I don’t really know, and that’s the first time I’ve ever asked that question of myself…. I rely on my memories of my loved ones I lost, to keep me buoyant on the troubled seas of life. I rely on searching my memory bank and pulling out those moments of my Dad’s laughter, my Mom’s beautiful singing voice, and my Gram and Grandpa saying my nickname. I love to travel back in my memory to the loving Irish lilt spoken by my Great Aunts and my Gram in conversation over tea and scones. It’s my memories that I preserve in scrapbooks, photo albums, and on my camera roll that sustain and give me joy. If I didn’t have my memories I’d have nothing. We all need to store important information, thoughts, and pictures in our minds memory. It’s the very thing that gives up pure happiness, comfort in times of sadness, and the security of knowing just how loved we are. I am always testing my memory by walking into a room, and wondering why the hell I’m there, and what did I need to find. I tease myself and ask my son if I’ve locked my truck when we’re going grocery shopping. He always answers “yes Mom, did you hear the beep?” Will I always have a poor memory? I don’t know, I sure hope not, as I struggle with sleep deprivation and exhaustion. And unfortunately this is one of the most common side affects. And as I slowly change my diet I’m hoping to be lifted out of this brain fog I’ve been in. In order to keep my memory from failing I will read, write, learn, and forgive myself for the things I’ve forgotten. I’ll love the memories that I’ve been able to hang onto, and will cherish them and hold them close to my heart. It’s what my loved ones deserve, and all those moments in time that were once so special to me. And I will create new and beautiful memories with my family and friends. I will make this my upmost priority before they all fade away like moonbeams in the moonlight.

This has been my submission to http://LindaGHill.com for Stream of Consciousness Saturday. The prompt was memory, please checkout what she wrote about, and all the other talent that linked up. Thank you for letting me relive some wonderful memories. ❤️

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