To the Mother who judged me, I lay awake thinking of what you said. How you blurted out your casual comment not knowing it was like a serrated knife to my heart. Or maybe you did know that and didn’t care. It felt like you had an agenda the first time you laid eyes on me. We were on a busy commuter bus, going to the same destination; and I thought I’ll never see you again. But I asked you to back off and you didn’t. This is me wearing my heart on my sleeve and pouring out my pain in that moment.
The Judgement Bus
How can you sit there and judge me?
While people just stop and stare.
I’m shocked by what you said to me.
I didn’t ask you to share.
You don’t know me or my child, or what’s his story.
You just spouted off your ignorance and didn’t even say sorry.
I was staring at the smugness on your face.
I said he has autism and his meltdown I wanted to erase.
I didn’t know what to say as my hot tears stung my eyes.
I could see you watching my child with disgust, which was no surprise.
I’ve seen people like you where I have to hold my anger inside.
Buckle up son, it’s the judgment bus coming through.
And it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
I won’t let them see that one shining tear.
As I could fill an ocean of denial. Sadness lives here.
As I look back and read this poem, tears are streaming down my face. I recently became a proud member of The Mommitment Movement, dedicated to putting an end to “Mom Wars.” Its mission is to promote love, acceptance, and kindness instead of judgment.
I’m adopting the motto, ‘I won’t judge you as a Mom, so please don’t judge me.’ We all came into this world the same way, with a beautiful newborn baby – without an instruction manual. The experience I had on the bus made me realize how much I have to reinforce this positive message in my life. I immediately wanted to hurt her like she hurt me and my pride. My son wasn’t even bothered; just happy to have a seat, and to watch life out the window. I won’t change my thinking, my thin skin, or the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I will abide by this code in my backyard, while I tend to the flowers I’m growing. I’ll respect your right to tend to your flowers however you see fit.
After the bus incident, I’m more committed to Mommitment than ever. I can’t change the world around me. I can’t make people accept my son and his special needs. But this is Autism Awareness month, and I can help change his world by spreading more awareness, education, and understanding. Having the force of the proud and powerful Mommitment movement along with a parenting support network behind me, I finally don’t feel so alone on this journey.
To learn more about this game changing campaign, please read the post that started it all.
And here you can sign the pledge and be part of Mommittment. ❤️
