House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Ten Things of Thankful-Halloween happiness

Tonight was a special night not like any other. I have been waiting for this day to come for a year a chance when I get to go out trick or treating with my kids! My husband and I take turns every year but since I only know four people in my neighbourhood I’m anxious to see who’s really behind those closed doors. Call me curious or nosey but I like to see how people live. I feel thankful that I could participate in this night of spooky fun and enjoy the interaction of my youngest complimenting everyone on their costume. For a little boy who is severely speech delayed and socially anxious it’s music to my ears to hear him conversing like everyone else. 

  
Each door to a house we approached opened up to new possibilities. What kind of candy did our treat givers buy, what were they watching on TV before they arrived, did they have laundry on the couch waiting to be folded like me? Each person opened their doors smiling at my children and I. I had a gangster, Batman, and myself dressed up as Wonder Woman. After about an hour of peril using our block little hands were getting cold and little feet were tired and sore. So we started our journey home to drop my little Mad dog off while the Captain and grabbed some gloves and continued on. 

I saw so many amazing decorations, people dressed up to give out candy, and other parents like me in costume. I’m proud to say that I even got mistaken for a child and got candy too! I had a blast running from houses to house with my son chasing him as I’m a superhero intent on catching the mischievous mobster prolling the neighbourhood. Our neighbour went all out and decorated too and gave him quite the scare. She was dressed up as a bride covered in red paint and was holding a doll dressed the same way. When kids opened the door she put it out first and spooked whoever was standing there. 

When it was my Captain and I, (while his brother was standing and waiting with Daddy) approached the door he was saying something’s going to happen as he eyed up the decor warily. And he wasn’t disappointed when she came out that door he flew off those steps backwards and landed in the yard! 

We sure had a good belly laugh about that and when we were around the corner we could still hear her scaring kids and everyone laughing! I was awestruck by how much fun people were having and it reminded me back in the day when I would be out with my sister and our friends. Those nights were cold, fun, and sometimes uncomfortable in our plastic costumes overtop of our snowsuits. That’s how Canadians trick or treat, buy your costume big enough to fit overtop of your parka! Sometimes we would be up to our knees in snow and we’d be stomping around the neighbourhood in search of candy. 

We ended our night with a pillowcase full of treats and went to our friends Halloween party. As always she’s an amazing hostess and had a delectable assortment of food and hot tea to warm up our bones. We talked, made new friends, and enjoyed seeing the kids playing games and cuddling the cats. We came home with full bellies, warm hearts, and so much thankfulness and appreciation for our Halloween of happiness. ???

I’m so happy to be part of the TOTT linkup hosted by Lizzi and her amazing Thankful tribe. My favourite place to be every weekend.?  I did write this on Halloween night but didn’t publish till now.

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Anonymous 

There are times I put my ball cap on big sunglasses tuck my hands in my hoodie kangaroo pocket and hide out. Sometimes I do this at home or when I go out so I can remain anonymous. I might even look creepy in my incognito splendour, but I feel safe. I like to people watch there I said it, and this is a way I can do it casually. I learn so much about watching people. There’s an art form to it, a nuance that I appreciate. I don’t stare I just watch how people use their body language, talk in public, how they get absorbed in their “face in their phone world.” 

I have always enjoyed this past time and until now I’ve remained anonymous about it. People inspire me I can think up things to write just from seeing people interacting with each other. Sometimes I take notes while I’m sipping my Starbucks, and word prompts or blog ideas pop into my head. I used to go to parks while I was pregnant with my first and watch parents in action. I watched how they held their babies, what kind of strollers they used, how they cooed and kissed their precious bundles of joy. I enjoyed seeing them in those sweet, candid moments in love with their little family’s. 

I was so eager to learn and take mental notes about what kind of Mom I would be. Little did I know that the biological need kicks in whether you birthed your baby or were blessed with someone’s else’s. I just knew what my son needed whether he was comfortable in a football hold, or too hot from skin to skin and he would push his arms up and away from my chest. I would watch him for hours too just before I fell asleep while he was dreaming away in baby land. 

I could watch his body movements, the way his long eyelashes made his tender baby face look so beautiful. The roundness of his chubby cheeks, and the sweet way he pursed his lips like he was about to kiss me. I couldn’t get enough of baby watching when I had my babies. And I made friends with other Mom’s and I watched and admired their babies as well. My second baby loved to wiggle even when he was sleeping. He was in constant motion right before he’d drift off to sleep. His rosy cherub like cheeks looked like two little apples I could nibble on. His lips were always in a full pout, and his soft blonde hair I would stroke and admire his peacefulness. He was so angelic and since he wasn’t much of a steady sleeper I appreciated these moments even more. 

Watching my children while they slept made me appreciate their beauty, calmness, and the tender years that they were at. And how fast they were progressing as they grew from babies, to toddlers, to preschoolers, and off to Kindergarten and leaving my nest. As they’ve grown this made me want to study them as they play. As if I could capture this time of their lives and bottle it for safe keeping for my memory bank. The voices my youngest likes to use with his superhero characters makes me giggle. And the songs and dances my oldest uses to entertain himself and other amazes me with his talent. I also watch them watching me as I’m reading, cooking, or working out, asking me a hundred questions about what I’m doing, and when will I be done. 

As much as I enjoy people watching I’ve given birth to a couple of investigative people reporters. My son’s will give me updates on our neighbours comings and goings. As well as what his dog is up too, sleeping, eating, or sniffing as he sees my youngest staring at him through a crack in the fence. I have to remind my kids it’s not nice to stare at people in public. A passing glance is long enough and adding a smile if someone looks your way can make yours and their day. I’ve received compliments from other people watchers about my son’s. Which always makes me puff up my chest as a Mommy peacock strutting my parenting stuff. 

I’ve been told by little Grandma’s in the grocery store how polite and cute my kids are. How they must keep me giggling with their antics. I’ve nodded, agreed, and have added “yes laughing and a little hair pulling as well.” I used to feel so anxious if someone was watching me with my babies. Almost like they were trying to see where I was doing something wrong, or I would be judged for not doing something right. Igniting  the whole Mom wars debate that I wanted to avoid like the plague. 

It spoke a lot more to my insecurities then what people thought of me. Usually they just wanted me to hurry up in a line up when deciding what meal to order. They weren’t judging me they just were in a hurry with life. And there I was with my baby smiling away at them from my stroller. I got over that after my children started getting older. Now my oldest is quite a handsome boy with brilliant blue eyes, and an easy smile on his lips. 

He captures attention wherever he goes as he’s kind, polite, and always engages someone in conversation. My youngest he’s equally handsome and adorable, but where his brother is my quiet child he is my loud, wild, child. He is a boy very comfortable in his skin. He has no qualms of telling you his name, how old he is, and inviting  you back to our house for a play date. With him everything is an adventure, something fun and exciting waiting to be discovered by him. I love how he tackles life whether it’s scary or challenging  he wants to take a bite out of that experience. 

There are those days I want to be anonymous when he raises hell with being uncomfortable or panicked about something in his environment. This is something he has no control over with his neurological disorder. If sets him off sensory wise then we have some drama to contend with. Those are the times I want to crawl underneath the table and hide under my hat and dark sunglasses. But I don’t, I’ve taught my kids to never shy away from life. I just do my best to handle the situation and regulate my son as quickly as possible. Then we can leave as quietly as we came in or I can be the people watcher, and say “take a picture to remember us by.” Which actually happened in a McDonald’s as there were a few judgey Mcjuderson’s in attendance. Oh to be anonymous, incognito, say what you say, dream what you dream, feel what you feel without a care in the world, and be free. Now if you will excuse me it’s time for my weekly people watching session at Starbuck’s. ?

This has been my Sunday confession with the loveable More Than Cheese and Beer. Head on over and check out her anonymous Sunday confessions. And all the lovely ladies who linked up today. Thank you,  smooches. ?

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Friday’s Feats and Fails

Wahoo it’s the weekend! It’s my favorite day of the week as it’s also my Captain’s best day as he’s much more relaxed when he comes home from school. It’s been a long week that’s felt like more than a month! So I’ll do my best to give you hi-lights and the low lights.

FEAT

As a family we start every Friday out with a movie, popcorn and cuddles. Can you see why it’s my favorite day? I love to hear my kids chatting, making each other laugh, and the things that they come up with to entertain me and each other. I managed to get through a movie without falling asleep and getting both kids to bed. And we were all organized because the Captain had his hockey bag packed and ready to go at the front door. I love that he’s so excited to go play instead of fighting me just to leave the house. ?

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FAIL

Hockey was a smooth day minus one hiccup. My Mad dog doesn’t want to sit still and with his sensory condition he just can’t unless there’s a IPad game, or something vibrating and flashing to keep his interest. We were sitting in the arena and he was getting antsy and didn’t want anything to do with the bag of toys I brought him. So he was bored and stimming (seeking sensory input). This is when he gets mouthing and biting so as to get instant input. Well he started licking the hand rail and a young girl walked by. I went to grab his hands and lead him away, but that’s no possible when he’s screaming. This girl came up to me and said “he’s licking the pole, I replied yes I know. ” Her response was what’s wrong with your kid?” This stung me right to the core, so I replied “he has a sensory condition, no big deal.” She began to laugh and I told her keep on walking. I didn’t handle it calmly, I tried but it just hit me in the heart.

FEAT

We had a successful hockey weekend, but traveling together always seems to make my kids even more sensory. So I have the laptop charged playing movies, iPad and the V-tab when sharing the laptop isn’t feasible. Mad dog was very successful with his potty training and I’m so proud of his accomplishment. The Captain won both his games and we ended up running into my brother in-law and sister in-law before left a hockey game. It was such an amazing reunion as we hadn’t seen them in seventeen years. Living at the other ends of each province will do that. As well as being hockey parents that will bring you together for the sport, or keep you on the road every weekend away from everyone.

FAIL

Monday was a difficult day I had Dr’s appointments for my kids with a new Pediatrician. Since it was an assessment the visits were lengthy while I answered questionnaires. My husband came with the Captain while I went in with the Mad dog. He was very agitated and didn’t want to have anything to do with the Dr. I had prepared him with a social story and did his OT exercises beforehand. But when he’s uncomfortable it doesn’t matter what I do to accommodate him. He started to get antsy and my husband and I tag teamed off and he took him home, and I took the Captain. This is where it got difficult as the Pediatrician was very thorough and wants Maddox assessed for ASD and OCD. Hearing those letters made my head swim as she read out her report. It was hard to hear and even harder to talk about my Captain and his anger and anxiety issues. He was bored, angry, and disrespectful. And I understood why, it was difficult for both of us. He will be assessed for ADHD and ODD. My heart breaks for my sons having to struggle, but labels and letters equal help for them so I’m accepting that one day at a time. ❤️

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*Image used with permission from www.sharingwithshari.com*

FEAT

I heard a brilliant guest speaker at my support group and he talked about the risk factors of addiction. And also how they correlate to an an ADHD diagnosis. This psychologist was so amazing, thorough, and interesting with his approach I was able to see everything I had encountered in my life in the past six years more clearly. My Captain was also able to articulate how he was feeling when I talked to him about getting help for his anger and anxiety. He doesn’t want to be bullied anymore so he won’t wear headphones in the classroom. But he said he’d try them at home, and he wishes he could stop his brain from saying stupid things. I reassured him it’s never his fault, and we all need to be kinder in our family. ?

FAIL

With all the changes with Dr’s appointments and my stress levels my Mad dog has slipped in his potty training. I blame myself as I’ve been preoccupied with scheduling more appointments, applying for funding, and researching. Life has been topsy turvy with Mercury in retrograde so there’s always a few more curveballs to dodge. I found out I didn’t have health insurance from either province and I was just sick when I was told my Ped Dr visits were $300!!! Of course I had a few family Dr’s visits as well so color me embarrassed. ? I also had to apologize for getting frustrated and letting my feelings get the best of me. Luckily the receptionist could see a tired, overwhelmed Mom and they didn’t charge me a cancellation fee. I really appreciated that and assured them I’d be back with my Health insurance.

FEAT

After applying for health insurance for the third time our claim was processed and we got our Heath care numbers to use immediately. And our coverage will be retroactive from October 1 st. All it took was a trip into the city, an understanding insurance agent, and ID and boom problem solved. ?
So now here we are going into the weekend and it’s hockey time again. I’m way ahead of the game as laundry is all caught up with one load in the dryer to be folded tomorrow. Ha take that laundry you’re my bitch this week. ? The Captain’s hockey bag is organized and ready, dishes are washed and floors are vacuumed. Tomorrow I tackle the bathrooms and mopping and fold and put away laundry. It’s amazing what happens when I get an hour or two of extra sleep. I’ve also been taking am electrolyte supplement and drinking two liters of water daily. As well as taking my vitamins, walking, and doing cardio on the treadmill.

So here we are heading into the weekend so we’ll see what adventures are in store for my family and I then. Until next weekend, blessings to you with whatever you’re doing and wherever you’re doing it. ?

This has been my submission to Ash’s Friday’s Feats and Fails at www.morethancheeseandbeer.com Please check out how her week went and all the other talent who link up. Smooches to you for being here on my journey. ?

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