House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Jan 10

It takes a village

by Jeanine Lebsack

I recently took a physical for life insurance purposes. My nurse was kind and polite and when I was asked why do I take an anti-depressant when your otherwise healthy? I simply replied “I’m a special needs parent who’s always advocating, teaching, learning, researching, and loving my family I have to cope somehow.”

The look of surprise that crossed his face was something that I’ve seen before. I’ve had people ask me how do you do it, deal with autism, ADHD, ODD, SPD, and a genetic neurological disorder that affects everything from motor skills, to recessive language delay, to selective eating issues due to textures, smells, and shapes of food.

I have no other answer other than I don’t think about it I just do it. All of it needs to be done always. I need to advocate for my children so that they can have access to resources, funding, and therapy inside the school system and outside within the community. I need to keep up with the latest research on my son’s genetic disorder so I know how to help him specifically and what other co-morbidities I need to be aware of. I also need to teach him about number and letter recognition so he can begin to print what he knows. I have to deal with regression as it’s the part of his brain that’s affected by his micro-duplication.

I need to check, double check and help my son re-learn when he’s lost his ability to process what he’s learning in school. He’s come a long way with his progress from screaming if I tried to help him hold a crayon in preschool to printing his name confidently in elementary school. Now his world’s growing bigger as he attempts to make sense of all those letters on the page and learn to read. I remember what joy I felt when my Mom introduced the magical world of books to me.

I long to see that light in my son’s eyes that I know appeared in mine. Yet I see him stumble on three and four letter words and in frustration throw the book across the room. At the moment we’re working on his reading comprehension so that he can create the story from what he sees illustrated on the page. As for the phonics and word recognition I’m using a multi-sensory approach as well as his special education resources teacher does in the classroom.

1. First I print the word then I get him to to tell me the letters and we sound it out and say it together.

2. Next I have him build it with his alphabet letters on the line below.

3. After he prints the word with his pencil.

4. Then we go over the word and use it in a sentence and repeat with the remaining words.

Sometimes he only has enough patience for three words but to me it’s quality over quantity. I learned the Write, build, print method from an amazing website called Understood. I love this website as I now have a resource that’s there to help us both on our learning journey.

When I see the furrow in my son’s brow as he concentrates to maintain his alligator grip on his pencil I marvel at his independence. He sings a little song as he does so. Alligator grip then my pencil doesn’t slip. Then when he’s completed his task his beautiful smile makes his whole face light up. I’m excited to incorporate building Lego into his learning as we work on math next.

I have five months to prepare him to catch up with his peers and continue onto the next grade. He has an excellent team at school who’ve been there to help with his frustrations, transitions with the use of visuals and successes. My son teaches me just as much as I’m teaching him this why I choose medication for myself and seeking the guidance of a therapist.

No parent is an island and it takes a village to raise a child. When it’s a child with special needs it takes strength, courage, and a bigger, non-judgemental village. I need to be able to cope with this roller coaster of a life we lead. I need to stay on task and ten steps ahead of a sensory overloaded meltdown. Most importantly I need to take care of myself and repair what I feel is broken. My mental health and the well being of my children depend on it.

Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next month’s Voices of Special Needs Hop? Click here!

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Jul 11

Autism and my family’s journey 

by Jeanine Lebsack

It’s been almost 1.5 years ago that my youngest son was diagnosed with autism and a rare neuro developmental disorder called 16p11.2 proximal duplication. Which makes him so rare is that not all 16 th chromosomal abnormalities develop into any other genetic anomaly and in some cases it does. He’s in the 1 % where the duplication develops into autism affecting his central nervous system, auditory system, visual system, as well as his sense of taste and smell.

Essentially the disorder means that he has an extra band of DNA in the 16 th area of his chromosome. We all have one individual band on each side of our long and short arm of our chromosomes.  In my son’s case he has 3, one on his left arm and 2 on his right. All this extra genetic material can manifest into other disorders such as ADHD, ODD, OCD, and mood disorders such as bipolar depression, schizophrenia, and learning disabilities.

My son can also be affected medically with auto immune disorders, spinal growths known as chiarri and a possibility of tumours. I just learned of his diagnosis almost 1.5 years ago which led to the diagnosis of autism level 3 stated in the DSM 5. Which means he’s needing substantial support for resistant and persevasive behaviours.

I will admit when I heard his pediatrician give his diagnoses I cried and I shook so hard that I fell off my chair! I completely lost control while the doctor said she was sorry over and over again. What was she sorry for? Her world didn’t change in an instant? This is my first time writing about it as I had to process it.

In the meantime I’ve gone into my “Mom research mode” and learned more of how to help my son.  I recently met with a geneticist for counselling and she provided me with some more information.  She was impressed that I was aware of so much already. I was left on your own after my son’s paediatrician left her practice so I didn’t have a choice.

I’ve always referred to my son as my SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) Superhero now he’s my champion. I never knew what his life would hold for him as I held him in my arms when he came into the world. He was a tiny 6 lb, 2 oz bundle of joy with a fighting spirit. Now he’s grown into a strong, independent, precocious, fun loving, six year old boy. He has had a lot to contend with in his young life. Along with his autism and rare diagnoses he also has other disorders.

The first discovery after his assessments was Global Developmental Delay. Meaning he has a severe deficit in two or more motor skills. This label phases out after the age of 5 developmentally as a child ages. My son has a severe recessive speech deficit and moderate expressive language, as well as severe fine motor skills and moderate gross motor skills delay. He’s verbal but needs instructions broken down for him in a way he can understand. All this new information leads to yet another diagnosis of Intellectual Development Delay

For eg: First, Then, and After. Which helps him process things better with his executive functioning skills. He also has asthma and Obstructive Sleep Apnea that’s controlled with medication. He’s a sensory seeker and has sensory processing disorder, in particular Sensory Modulation Disorder. He can’t spin in a circle in one direction for too long as it overstimulates his vestibular sense. I have to make sure he spins clockwise and counter clockwise or he’s crashing into walls and people. When he was a toddler I used to have to duct tape a body pillow to the wall so he wouldn’t injure himself!

His proprioception sense is weaker so I use a lot of visual spatial concepts and cues to help him understand. He gets very visually overstimulated so I use a white board or visuals to help keep him on task. He’s also wearing his glasses in school to help with that. He has also completed a one year developmental therapy contract having a Behavioural Aide and psychologist working with us in our home. As well as an Educational Aide at school and a Community Aide to help with the social and behavioural aspect.

We use a white board inside and outside the home using the first, then, and after sequence of events. We visual cues (tapping body parts), stating the name of each body part in motion, and crossing the midline, and using visual pictures. My son responds very well to all the above as well as repetitive speech. I’ve seen him struggle with leaving the house to happily going on an adventure.

Every Dr’s appointment, geneticist visit, hospital checkup, and ride to school is an adventure for him. The reason why is because I make it this way by using social stories, sentence strips, and role playing to help him motor plan and process the visual and auditory information. We work diligently to not overwhelm or overload him sensory wise. Our life isn’t easy by no stretch of the imagination but it’s manageable and we share love, laughter, learning, and joy.

From the first time he opened his eyes and looked at me I knew it would be him and I against the world. Now with support, education, awareness, and acceptance we’ve found our special needs village and for that we’re grateful.
Welcome to the Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop. A monthly gathering of posts hosted by the Sensory Spectrum and Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo. From Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next months Voices for Special Needs Blog Hop click Here.

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Feb 9

Living in a sensory overloaded world 

by Jeanine Lebsack

Life isn’t always easy and I make the best of it that I can. I don’t think my life is any worse or any better than anyone else’s, it just is what it is. I have never possessed the Staples magical easy button, but if I did look out world! I do daydream about it occasionally to come up with a working model with creativity and a little wishful thinking on my part. 

I’m a product of my own environment and a lot of time spent in my childhood was loud, confusing, and overwhelming. I came into the world and lived in an incubator for a week while I recovered from being sickly and jaundiced. My Mom had a cold and as a result the Dr took extra precautions with me. This was back in the 70’s when it was perfectly acceptable for Mom’s to stay in the hosiptal longer. Going through my own birth experiences I believe whatever emotion, feeling, thoughts, and drugs for pain management are passed from Mother to baby. 

Without having any personal recollection of my time in the spa I can let my imagination wander and say I must’ve loved it. My jaundice was being taken away under the phototherapy lights, I was warm, comfortable, and it was quiet. As I got older I was a child that thrived in peace and quiet because I saw that my Mom did too. She could fill a room with her twinkling laughter and tell a great joke but she loved the quiet of sitting with a good book and enjoying a nice cup of tea. 

We spent many hours enjoying each other’s company with me wrapped up in a world of make believe with my dolls, Sesame Street, Mr. Dress up and The Friendly Giant as my favourite friends. Whenever it would get noisy with having my siblings home I would retreat to my bed and hide under the covers. I had some certain spots for my quiet time up in a tree, in my blanket fort, and when I was very young I was found one time in the dryer sleeping in the warm and cozy laundry. 

When I needed a sensory break from my environment being too cluttered and confusing I would climb. I was confused for being a monkey on many occasions when someone would ask where I was they would see me climbing the tallest tree or onto the horse stock rack then onto the roof of our house!  I was quite blessed by the hand of God that I didn’t fall off and break my neck or worse! 

Now I’m an adult who still loves to climb and build blanket forts with my kids. I have Sensory Processing Disorder and so do my son’s. It’s not anything I could’ve done to change that outcome since it’s neurological. I’ve read enough in the last two years to help me understand my children’s brains and have seen myself on every page! I was quiet, yet boisterous at times, I preferred to read and write stories, or climb trees, and scrape my knees. Just like any other typical child, yet if my world was to loud, bright, crowded and confusing I’d hide away. 

I read that birth trauma particularly placental complications, is known to be a cause of Sensory Processing Disorder according to the book Out of Sync Child by Carole Stock Kranowitcz. If you’re new to this term and haven’t read my blog I will kindly provide you with a definition. 

Sensory Processing Disorder is Sensory processing (sometimes called “sensory integration” or SI) is a term that refers to the way the nervous system receives messages from the senses and turns them into appropriate motor and behavioral responses. Whether you are biting into a hamburger, riding a bicycle, or reading a book, your successful completion of the activity requires processing sensation or “sensory integration.”

*this definition is provided by the website SPD Foundation.*

There are a lot of different processes with SPD where people are affected in certain ways. I’m very visually stimulated and auditory and tactile hypersensitive. Loud noises bother me, I take everything in while scanning my environment, and there’s certain textures I just won’t touch. I’ve lived with this my whole life and  this is known as Sensory Defensive Disorder. My son’s each have the Sensory avoidance and Sensory seeking behaviours.

 I explain it as follows as we each have a bucket that gets filled with each input throughout our day providing for our eight senses to our central nervous system to our brain.  These senses of touch, taste, smell, hearing, seeing, proprioception, interoception and vestibular. 

Proprioception- meaning ones own individual sense of the relative position of neighboring parts of the body, and strength of effort employed in movement. Yes My youngest son isn’t aware of his body in space, and where that begins and where it ends. So crashing into the wall, toys, or his brother are common, and he’s not aware of it until after the fact.

Interoception -is the sense by which one perceives pain, hunger, bowel/bladder control and the movement of internal organs. So in layman’s terms potty training is a bust as of late; my three year old has awareness but no sense of urge control or the urge to eliminate.

 Vestibular- is the sensory system that provides input about movement and a sense of balance. The brain uses information from the vestibular system in the head, to proprioceptive throughout the body to understand the body’s dynamics and kinematics, which describes the motion of objects or groups of objects, without the consideration of causes of motion. Translation meaning when my youngest son is “stimming,” (stimulating all his senses to seek input in his environment) he will spin for an hour if I let him. I prefer swinging-on actual swings- to regulate my vestibular sense. 

 He’s a “seeker”of all kinds of sensory input. Think of it in terms of having a bucket of water with a hole in the bottom, and it constantly needs to be filled up. The clinical definition is Sensory Modulation Disorder. My oldest son has Sensory Defensive Disorder like me. He has a lot of defensive issues with receiving too much input. 

Picture it as a bucket of water that’s constantly filled, and it’s pouring out all over the floor. His issues are predominantly with auditory, visual, and olfactory senses. It’s a full time job keeping all of us sensory and emotionally regulated, but it’s one I do gladly with the help of noise cancelling headphones, regular occupational, physical,  and speech therapy. 

The one thing I’ve come to realize of this journey in our sensory overloaded world is that it does take a village to raise a child, and if there’s special needs involved it grows in size and heart to provide them with success. I do believe that God only gives me as much as I can handle. Sometimes those days are long and difficult and other days are filled with fun and laughter. I’m blessed that they’re also filled with a lot of love, patience, and kindness, and a strong village. 

Welcome to the Sensory Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from sensory bloggers hosted by  Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about what it’s like to have Sensory Processing Disorder and to raise a sensory kiddo! Want to join in on next month’s Sensory Blog Hop? Click here!


  

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Dec 22

Monday Musings-Christmas in my comfort zone

by Jeanine Lebsack

I’ve always been a traveller during the holidays. Ever since I was four years old and my Mom would have my sister and I for Christmas and my Dad would have us for Boxing Day. This tradition continued for many years until my Dad passed it over to my middle sister and her family. We’re of Ukrainian descent on my Dad’s side so it would be a day consisting of perogie making and eating contests. This was our way of celebrating the Ukrainian Christmas that falls in January. 

My oldest brother always won the record of most perogies eaten at one sitting with fifty-two and our Dad a runner up with forty-nine. I won for the women one year with fourteen eaten and many, many, created in my family’s kitchen. Now that I’m married and have a family of my own I have my own traditions. We do Christmas baking and advent calendars with my kids. I also started the book advent where a new book is unwrapped and read each day up till Christmas. My son’s each get to open a present on Christmas Eve which consists of pyjamas or slippers. This year they each get a family movie night box complete with hot chocolate, DVD, popcorn, and pj’s. 

I’m excited about this new way of celebrating Christmas with my children! I love to see their faces lit up with the joy of decorating the Christmas tree. As well as their amazement when we see how many decorations we piled on that seven foot beauty. We’ve always been the members of our family who lived furthest away but were expected to travel. And so we did just as couple for many years and later as a family of four. My Grandparents and parents were still alive during these Christmases and seeing them was what made my holiday brighter. 

  
After they had passed away in 1991, 1999, 2009, and 2011 our trips back home ceased to happen. It was just too heartbreaking to go back to the same place and see that empty spot at the kitchen table. The last Christmas I had with my Dad my oldest son was two. I remember how special it was to see them together soaking up every precios moment they could together. It was bittersweet as I knew this would be the last time they’d share aholiday together. 

When my Mom had passed I was eight months pregnant with my second son. She had known he was planned for, created, and growing in my belly but never got to meet him or hold him. That last Christmas she spent most of it sleeping as her medication for travel made her very tired. I wasn’t able to travel as I was being watched for complications. The next time I saw her was at her viewing in the church and then her funeral. That wasn’t something I’ve been able to forgive myself for but I know it’s nothing I had control of. In time I will heal and let that go. For now it’s a double edged jagged knife in my heart. That makes it hard to breathe sometimes….

Now my children are growing up so quickly I’d like to freeze time and let them stay little and innocent awhile longer. We travelled to family last year and it took a lot out of us as a whole. It’s not easy to have a busy, loud, bustling, holiday season with sensitive children. Being out of routine, away from their calming and emotionally regulating routine and not sleeping well can lead to sensory overloaded meltdowns. While it’s common for this time of year it’s not always accepted behaviour at one’s home, family relative or not. 

I spent a lot of time outside playing in the snow with my kids. Snowball fights, snowman building, and powder diving kept them happy, calm, and me from losing my ever loving mind! My youngest son with his Sensory Processing Disorder has a lot of food texture issues so I knew he wouldn’t be having the turkey with all the trimmings. No matter how delicious it appeared to be for others he was happy with his peanut butter sandwich and milk. I did not pressure or chastise him for this preference, as this is not how to help him adapt and want to try new foods or food groups. 

Food is not a battle I choose to have with my son. I pick them carefully because at this time of year everything in his environment is a hair trigger to a blow up waiting to happen.  His older brother who’s a Sensory avoider of excess sensory input will cover his ears, beg for quiet time, and get overloaded by the noise and commotion. Then my youngest who’s a seeker of this sensory input who will run, spin, stim, and then fall apart with exhaustion or overload. This is what I refer to as Armageddon implosion, internally they’re struggling so much, and externally they can’t regulate themselves without my help. 

 In 5-4-3-2-1 BOOM ? massive meltdown city is where we’re living and it’s not for the weak hearted. This leads to my husband and I watching for the triggers and doing our best to keep them calm or remove them from the situation entirely. That is how we spent last Christmas Eve where I was told my one son needed valium, and my reply was “no he could use some understanding, I’ll take the Valium.” To be honest my wine glass was never empty during that holiday.  We all got to do what we got to do to get through those hellish hours, without judgement. 

Last year was a long, painful, exciting, and exhausting holiday. I got to see family on my husband’s side and mine. My kids were eager to see their aunts and uncles and open up and play with their toys. I was able to sit back and relax and enjoy seeing them happy and regulated around my side of the family. While repeating my mantra there’s no place like home. Because really there isn’t, it’s so rewarding to be able to hang out in your pj’s all day eating popcorn and watching Netflix. I went against my better judgement and did what was expected of me and my kids reacted accordingly. I accept that now, although it was a bitter pill to swallow at the time. 

This year I’m doing what’s best for them and staying home. We just moved and bought our house last year and now after eighteen months we get to have our first Christmas in it! I’m so excited to relax in my pj’s, cook a big turkey with all the trimmings, munch on my holiday baking, and enjoy Christmas movies with my family. I will light a candle for my loved ones who are no longer with us. Yet are now our Christmas angels from heaven sending us love and comfort when we need it the most. I will provide strength to my family and relatives who are walking through the pain of losing their family member as well, and trying to get through the holidays while grieving. 

After all the eating, sharing, and cuddling are done then we’ll roll out of the house after indulging in our holiday feast and go tobogganing and enjoy a bonfire, hot chocolate, and laughter with our friends. I couldn’t be happier about starting to revive this tradition and add some new ones to our family. This year we are travel free, except to the toboggan hill and back. I couldn’t be more happier and excited about revelling in this freedom and joy!  Christmas is where the heart is, and also where my comfort zone resides. 

It’s time for #Mondaymusings and all you have to do is this list of things. 
Write a post sharing your thoughts with us – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. Make it as personal as possible.
Use the hashtag #MondayMusings and link to this post.
Add your link to the linky which you will find either here and on the post of a co-host.
Use our #MondayMusings badge to help other bloggers join in too.

Today’s co-hosts are Happiness and Food, Blogs by Esha, Everyday Gyaan thank you for having me in the linkup today. ?

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Jun 15

 I know what I’m fighting for, my peace of mind

by Jeanine Lebsack

I have been in a journey for the last three years. It’s been a long hard battle with my youngest child to discover what I always thought, he has a neurological disorder. I have known as a premature baby he would have developmental delays. He was speech delayed and that was something I started working on since his birth. I read stories, described my daily activities, and sang to him all the time. His first words were Mama, Dada, hi, bye, and Baba (for brother). 

I was happy he was able to say these small words at 18 months. I was using sign language with him at a 12 months, but he only used a few signs for food, sorry, thank you, and happy. When it came to pronunciation is where he struggled the most at 2 years old. So I worked with him turning b’s into d’s and emphasizing the ways words sounded. I went through the process of registering him for evaluation when he was 2.5 years old. My Dr. gave me some pamphlets, and it was my health nurse that let me know about a child development agency I could contact. 

So far my son has had two family doctors, a pediatrician, developmental pediatrician, an ENT, and a children’s sleep specialist. He has also worked with a child development councillor, occupational therapist, and speech and language therapist. Because the first pediatrician didn’t classify him as having ASD we weren’t offered any help. We were moving to a new province so I could access resources there. Here we are another year into our journey and I have him re-evaluated for autism. He tests low for that criteria, but higher for ADHD. 

Since he’s only four, children in Canada aren’t tested till they reach the age of six. I’ve filled out enough paperwork, blood tests, and questionnaires to fill a filing cabinet! Even though my son has been delayed in some skills he has reached them. His recent accomplishments have been becoming potty trained. We worked on this for a year establishing sensory awareness so he would know what his body needed to do. I jumped for joy when he was able to catch a balloon followed by a ball on his birthday.  He also started dressing himself and putting on his own shoes on the proper feet. 

If his pants end up on backwards as well as his underwear I still celebrate his accomplishments. After filling out new paperwork I feel that these huge accomplishments have been negated. Due to having a delay his fine motor and gross motor skills have been affected. This has led to a diagnosis of global development delay. To hear those words in the office hit my heart like an out of control freight train. Knocking me off balance in this carefully, constructed, world we’ve built to keep him calm and regulated with his sensory integration disorder. 

Now I’m given a list of OT’s (Occupational therapists) to contact to get a consult. I’ve been told he needs OT, PT, (physical therapy) and SLP (speech and language therapy) immediately. I have been his Mom OT, PT, and SLP for the last eighteen months. Now I have to step aside and let the professionals do their work. This is so hard giving up this control of the life we have. I knew my son couldn’t hold a pencil properly so I have him practice drawing letters and numbers in sugar, to get the feel of the movements. 

I also found out he can’t balance on either foot, jump with two feet together 20 inches. I didn’t see these as detriments just something that needed fine tuning. So I started doing yoga with him to help him work on his balance. Which is due to a weaker vestibular sense affecting his inner ear and brain. Instead of jumping two footed I had him skip instead. I wanted and needed him to feel proud of these developments instead of being told he was just delayed. We have been a strong team working, playing, and discovering new and exciting things. 

This new frontier that we’re embarking on is scary one. His thyroid levels (TSH)  are higher than normal so he has to be tested every three months in case the Free T4 (affecting development) are out of their expected range. It’s known as sub clinical hypothyroidism and a definition that basically means “don’t worry till both TSH and Free T4 are high.” Global Developmemtal Delay can be caused by many factors such as fetal alcohol spectrum disorder FASD (caused by a Mother drinking excessively during her pregnancy), a genetic defect known as Down’s Syndrome, Fragile X syndrome Frag X (which is an inherited cognitive impairment Disoder). It can also be caused by medical problems encountered with prematurity, and no known cause. 

I can rule out FASD, I had a healthy pregnancy I was just very sick throughout my first trimester. My son doesn’t have Down’s syndrome as I had no markers for it in my genetic testing. He was born one month premature after my one and only beloved Mama, died in my eighth month. My pediatrician thinks he may have Frag X and the only way we can determine that is with genetic testing. 

I have put that on hold for now since that’s not a decision I can make for him as a young child. Once that test is administered it follows a person for the rest of their life. It can affect him applying for life insurance. Once the blood test determines whether someone has Frag X or not, those results always have to disclosed. If my son is a candidate for this impairment he got it from me. Only a Mother can pass it along to the male, and a Father can pass it along to a female. I have felt enough guilt in my life due to his premature birth. I can’t make a heavy decision like this that will affect him for his lifetime! 

I’ve spent a few sleepless nights going over this again and again until my sleep deprived brain scream enough I can’t take it anymore! He is being tested for allergies to see if that’s the cause of his sleep disorder he was diagnosed with last year. After those pending results we will have to do a private sleep clinic. I can only imagine how stressful that will be with his sensory disorder. Being hooked up to machines to monitor his every move and watched all night while I’m by his side. I already get anxious and feel heart palpitations coming on just thinking about it. 

I don’t even know how to talk about this so its just easier to write about it. I don’t have many people in my life that understand all these conditions and disorders. And if I did I moved away from them, which leaves me floating adrift in a lonely sea of doubt and anxiety. I know what I’ve been fighting for all these months, it’s my peace of mind. It’s to know that my son will get the resources and services he needs to prepare him for preschool and beyond. This is a very precarious time as the end of the school year approaches for my oldest son. My husband and I are determined to give them an amazing summer holiday as we were moving last year. And really the last two weeks were fun when we took time off from unpacking. Now we’re settled in our new home and province, and we’re going to be tourists and go on an adventure of discovery and fabulous fun! 

Now I know I’ll also be interviewing OT’s, setting up funding applications, and preparing my son for preschool. As well as my oldest son for his new adventure into the next grade. I know what all the sleepless, stress filled, long nights of staring at the vast emptiness as my tears cloud my vision are for. It’s to see light at the end of the long, dark, windy, tunnel. And if I can’t see it then  I’m getting a shovel and digging underneath, until I see what I so desperately need to lift me up out of this pit I’ve stumbled into. 

This has been my Sunday confession with More Than Cheese and Beer please check out her confession, anonymous ones on her Facebook page, and all the other talent who link up. Thank you. ?

 

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