House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

My #Mommitment music play list

Music is so important in my life it’s the reason I smile, my heart skips a beat, and my true passion in life. I grew up with music playing in my home constantly. From the melodic sounds of Elvis Presley, crooning of John Denver, rock and roll of Creedence Clearwater, and soft sounds of Charley Pride. I heard, learned, and sung it all. There is music that inspires me to write, sing, and create. There’s music that can lift up my spirit when it’s dragging on the floor from being sleep deprived at 2 am from a wide awake four year old. There’s music that kick starts my heart and body into action when I’m in full workout mode. And lastly music that makes me think screw all the haters as I dance around in my underwear like Tom Cruise in Risky Business  Old Time Rock and Roll style. Here’s a few of my personal favourites enjoy. ???
Bitch- Merdith Brooks
I have sung this loud and proud in my shower. Which everyone knows has the best acoustics next to a church. ?

What’s Up- Four Non Blondes
This song makes me think about the state of the world we’re living in. The judgement, tyranny, anarchy, and pain mixed in with the melting pot of beauty and emotions. ❤️

Zombie-The Cranberries
This song takes my heart to a place where I feel supported, loved, and understood. I had a friend who’s dogs would sing along with us when ever it was played. Rest in peace Stan and Gary. ?

Kick Start My Heart Motley Crüe
My all time favourite heavy metal band on the planet. And yes this song has kicked started my heart, energy, and pushed me to the extreme in my workouts. 

Don’t Stop-Fleetwood Mac
This is my theme song in life wherever I go, or wherever I am this song follows me. My heart, my love, my band is Fleetwood Mac. ??

This has been my contribution to the mixed tape #Momittment movement. I’m so happy and proud to be part of this beautiful ripple in the social media world. If you’d like to learn more about it check out Next life no kids and sign her petition. She rocks hard and so does her truth. ???


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Writers Quote Wednesday

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This has been my submission to http://silverthreading.com. Please check out her amazing talent and all the other awesomeness that link up. Thank you ?

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Element

I am in my element when I’m creating whether that’s writing, singing, writing a song, listening to music, and on stage performing. These are my passions in life, things I do that make me feel whole and complete. I’m also in my element when I’m with my friends. Talking, laughing, enjoying a cup of tea and scrapbooking. I’ve been struggling as of late because I don’t have this in my life at the moment. I’ve moved and I’m starting out on a new journey so there’s always some growing pains when I do this. I’ve made a few friends but we’re in that “getting to know you stage,”and juggling our families, school activities, and households. I miss those carefree days when my sweet Mama friend and I would go shopping and end our adventure with a stop at Starbucks. Or when my spiritual friend and I would stay up late drinking wine and reading our angel cards. When I’m dancing with my sweet sisters of the dance, learning new routines, moves, and channeling my inner burlesque Goddess I’m in my element. When I’m around people I’m in my element. Not big crowds though they make me nervous and overwhelmed. I love to be around people to listen to, watch, and converse with. Lately I’ve been in protective mode and somewhat of a loner. I was surrounded by people last night when I was on a subway train going to the Fleetwood Mac concert. I was so excited, and also hypersensitive to my surroundings. Being on a crowded train as an empath, locked inside a metal tube speeding down the track had me definitely out of my element!!! I could hear the cacophony of their mixed voices, languages, and feel every vibration they were emitting. My astrological sign is Taurus ,the earth element so I’m grounded, balanced, and solid. I didn’t feel that way at all, in that moment on the subway train. So I turned to my writing and started furiously typing away trying to think, breathe, and ground myself. It helped me, then I zoned out and stared at this Garth Brooks poster in front of me. If your a fan he has a new CD out Man against the Machine released after a 13 year hiatus from country music. I love his music, his story telling, his wonderful energy as a person. Definitely a must have for my Christmas wish list. So while I was balancing myself out from all the energy swirling around me, I missed my stop!!! I started to panic and then I remembered my spiritual element and breathed new life into my purpose of getting to the concert!!! One thing I learned is the North bound train always goes back to where it came from, so then I got off on the proper stop. I arrived and followed a crowd of people towards the din of excitement emanating from the arena. I arrived breathless at my seat and looked all around me, I was so emotional I burst into tears. I was really there, even with my mistake in missing my stop, and I was happy. Then the music started playing, my beautiful sister and her sweet friend arrived,and I was back in my element. As the sweet sounds of The Chain filled the building and I was lost in my sensory pleasing feeling of their music. And I began to dance and feel all my cares just slip away into the ethers. What a magical experience, so happy I crossed that off my bucket list. ???

This has been my submission to Saturday Stream of Consciousness. The prompt was the word element. This is brought you by the lovely http://lindaghill.com check out her thoughts and all the other blogger talent that link up. Big squeezes sent your way. ❤️

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I am Machine

I am machine, I wish I could feel something.
I am machine I sleep with my eyes wide open.
I am machine I wish I could fix what’s broken.
I am machine I wish I could feel something.
I hear these words pounding out of my radio and I’m transfixed by their sounds, their lyrical brilliance, and remarkable timing. I just finished saying to my Captain today I am a machine. As I crawled out of bed with 4 hours of sleep and waking up to find one of two kids in my bed. My throat was scratchy, my eyes blurry from lack of restful sleep, and my body achy from what I suspect is the flu. Captain says “what’s wrong Mom?” I reply “I think I’m sick.” He responds “ok I’ll get Dad to take me to school. I said “No he has to go to work. It’s ok I’m a machine I’ll take you.”

I do survive on little sleep, live a busy life, and suffer from anxiety. At some point in my days I have raging, anxious, emotions to deal with one or sometimes both of my sons. Yet here I am day after day doing the hard stuff, fun stuff, and the not so fun stuff. Because I’m a machine and it has to get done. Appointments with teachers, school staff, Dr’s and hockey fill up my calendar. The house needs cleaning, laundry needs folding, and this machine Mama needs a nap or a sick day. We know that’s not going to happen-ever. This isn’t a blog to whine or start a pity party. It simply states that parents don’t get sick days, more like minutes to pop a pill, chug some cough syrup, grab the Visine drops and go. No matter how tired, stressed, or sick I am life carries on even if I have to push myself through it. And when my body aches with the virus invading my system or my old back injury, I just pop some vitamins and keep on trucking (as my Dad used to say.) I think our bodies cry out when they’re overloaded sensory wise, chemically, emotionally and physically suffering. It shows in our skin, nutrition, sleeping patterns, ability to handle stress, and pain intolerance. I spend so much time regulating my kids that I get lost in the process. I comfort myself to know I’m doing all I can to help them, in a world that’s too busy, bright, harsh, and loud for them. I believe we are all Mama (and Papa) warriors who will break down walls, barriers, and intolerances to make our kids safe, happy, and healthy. So listening to this song from Three days Grace has me spellbound as I slowly and hypnotically move to the beat of the music. As I pour out all my stress, angst, and fears into every heart shattering lyric, and lose myself in this beautiful sensory experience. And nothing else on earth exists for these 3.5 minutes, just me the Mom machine. I’m lost in the rhythm of the music and I think to myself thank you, for writing this song with these powerful lyrics because finally someone gets it.

I found this prompt on http://inspiringmax.com Run or walk to your nearest music playing device and turn it on. Select a lyric from the first song you hear. Use that lyric into a piece of writing (fiction, non-fiction, poem, letter etc.) The twist work the name of the artist into your writing as well.

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Guilty Pleasures

My guilty pleasures are things I like to indulge in and feel comforting to me. Of these many things I love to stay up late eating chocolate covered almonds, chips and dip, and drink copious amounts of tea. Sometimes I’ll be blogging, reading blogs, or watching Netflix. I think we all need to have vices in life and I love to binge read books or watch Netflix TV series. I have to admit the Orange is the New Black, the Walking Dead, and the Twilight saga had me seeing a lot of sunrises. My bookshelves are more like a library with selections like fiction, non fiction, supernatural, fantasy, self help, parenting, and mystery. I love to dive into a book and escape to a world that only exists in my dreams. As much as I love to read, I love to write. When pen and paper meet, an idea is formed, and magic happens. My Mom and I used to write together. I would start the topic and we’d both contribute. I remember a story we wrote in high school, and the topic was who would you have dinner with. Alive or dead, out of anyone in the world I chose Jim Morrison. My Mom thought that was an interesting choice but I believed he was a fascinating person. I seen past the addict and into his brilliant mind. Back then I had recently saw the Doors starring Val Kilmer, who in my opinion was channeling the real Jim! I became fascinated and searched for every article, tv appearance, and video clip I could find about him. Recently I was unpacking a box when I moved into my new house. I found all these papers of my writing and my Mom’s collaborations. There were songs, poems, and binders full of writing. Going through that box took me back in time. To a place where reading and writing nourished my soul, and music was my therapy. It’s amazing what the affects of my guilty pleasures have on my mind, body, and spirit. I still rock out to my guilty pleasure 80’s heavy metal hair bands of my era. And I appreciate the journey I’m taking back to that carefree, creative, happy, poetic, self I used to be. ❤️

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