House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Feb 1

Ten Things of Thankful

by Jeanine Lebsack

  
It’s that time again to say hello, and tell you how thankful my week has been. I’ve had smiles, tears, laughter, love, and forgiveness. There’s also been blessings,  ephiphanies and the realization that I’m a force to be reckoned with. Let me tell you a story of my gratitude as part of Lizzi’s TTOT linkup. 
I’m thankful for a quiet Monday this week after we just got back from a fun but busy hockey tournament. I was feeling drained and a hot tub soak, chiropractor visit, and a home cooked meal were just what the Dr ordered. 

I’m thankful that I don’t take no for an answer in the medical community. My youngest son was scheduled for surgery on Tuesday and late Monday night he started running a fever out of the blue. He had a slight cough and was burning up I had no medicine left in the house so my husband had to bring some home after hockey practice. I phoned the hospital and alerted them of our situation. I was told to still bring him in and have him assessed the next day. 

I’m thankful for my husband bringing home Tylenol our poor little boy was so feverish and falling in and out of sleep. I put a cool cloth on his head while he slept in our bed all night. I was so afraid to leave him alone with his fever and sleep apnea. He radiated heat all night and his fever didn’t break and I sat on my bathroom floor crying and praying for him to be well again. 

I’m thankful when we did get to the hospital how thorough the nurses and Dr’s were with my son. Taking his blood pressure, checking his temperature, and listening to his heart. They had to cancel the MRI again with the fever of 101 Farenheit and postpone the surgery. I asked a lot of questions and asked the Dr to assess my son and explain to me what the risks were associated with administering an anesthetic in colleration with a fever. She was patient and felt sorry that she had to cancel since we were up at 5  am to get to the hospital and she was aware how much we have to prepare our son for these hospital visits. 

I’m thankful for a day to rest just cuddling with my sick little boy this was Wednesday and his fever was still high at 100 Farenheit. It had only come down a degree and he just laid in bed and slept most of the two days. Both my children and I run high fevers so it’s our “normal” but I still watch for signs of febrile seizures which can occur from infancy to the age of six. 

I’m thankful for day four (Thursday) and goodbye fever and hello happy boy! I still kept him home from preschool in case there was any residual germs floating around. It’s still unexplained what he was fighting off with no cold, flu, or infection symptoms possibly a virus.  We worked on fine motor and gross motor skills training and napped to conserve our energy for the weekend. 

I’m thankful for Friday TGIF it’s family movie night in our house and I was really looking forward to seeing Inside Out on Netflix. Wow that was the worth the wait what a lovely movie. That really helped touch on some anger and anxiety issues my oldest son was having. I love movies with a message that all we need is love, appreciation, and to communicate our needs. 

I’m thankful for catching up on work assignments, cuddles and movies with my son’s, and hockey Saturday. Although my son’s team lost 4-3 they put in an another valiant effort when they were missing one of their top scoring  offencemen. I must say every arena I go to has an assortment of foods on the menu. This one had the best chicken fingers and fries I’ve ever had for hockey food. 

I’m thankful for Sunday a day of rest and reflection. I read, got almost all my laundry put away, washed, dried, and folded. It feels  good to have two weekends in a row where I’m not my laundry’s prison bitch. 

I’m thankful for learning a lot about myself this week. I didn’t panic when my son got sick, I usually do with all the other neurological issues he has. He was a premature baby so I’m used to him catching whatever germs floating in the air. Yet he hadn’t ran a fever like that since he was two years old! I stayed calm, used my essential oils on him and myself, gave him medicine when he needed, and let him rest to strengthen his immune system. We will wait and see what happens with rescheduling his hospital procedures. I feel I’m better prepared and equipped to handle them then I was before. 

Thanks for stopping by today, goodnight my sweet readers. ?

life

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Jan 19

Monday Musings-the lies we tell ourselves

by Jeanine Lebsack

I’m a truthful person I’ve been taught to always be honest but never cruel, to be appreciative and not take things or people for granted. To always speak from my heart instead of inventing a lie. There’s one lie I’ve told myself is that I’m fine. I’m really not when I say that, it’s a easy way of letting the world know I have it together. 

Even though it appears like I do I really don’t, I’m struggling and I hide behind the mask that I present to world. I always think about that quote 

“Be kind to others, because everyone is fighting their own secret battles.”

I am a kind and loving person and I’m raising my children to be this way as well. I teach them to tell the truth, and to let them know they can tell their parents anything. I give them the opportunity to tell the truth first then give consequences if they’re not honest with me. I don’t want them to think it’s ok to tell me they’re fine when they’re not. Or that “I didn’t do it”or “I don’t know broke” the lamp. 

We tell ourselves these lies because it’s hard to face the truth sometimes. But even though it’s an old cliche the truth will set us free. There’s nothing to remember when you tell the truth, there’s nothing that needs to be created when honesty is the best policy. I’m dealing with a situation right now of lies being told. I have given the opportunity to hear the truth but wasn’t given that respect.

 So now there are consequences and disappointment. Why do we have to hide behind a mask of untruths instead of just being honest? Why does it feel better to lie and make ourselves feel better than ripping off the bandaid and exposing ourselves? It’s easier to hide behind a facade then to be real with ourselves. This is a foreign concept for me as I was taught the truth is a positive way to live my life. 

To be lied to is to be disrespected, and the hurt that arises from that is crushing. I don’t need to build myself up with a house of cards where the truth is distorted and I can’t tell what is real or what is not. Whether it happens sooner or later that house of deception comes crashing down around you. Be real, it’s the only way to feel good about yourself don’t build yourself up into being someone you don’t recognize or respect. 

I’m going to start taking my own advice when people ask me how I’m doing I’m not going to say fine. I will tell the truth I’m happy the sun’s shining, I’m struggling but I’m finding a way to cope. I owe it to myself to speak the truth and not hiding behind a mask I’ve created out of fear.  William Shakespeare is one of my favourite poets and playwrights and he spoke the truth when he created this simple but profound quote. 

“To thine own self be true”

It’s time for #Mondaymusings and all you have to do is this list of things. 

Write a post sharing your thoughts with us – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. Make it as personal as possible.
Use the hashtag #MondayMusings and link to this post.
Add your link to the linky which you will find either here and on the post of a co-host.
Use our #MondayMusings badge to help other bloggers join in too.
Visit and comment on the posts of other bloggers linked here.

Share the love.

Today’s co-hosts are Everyday Gyaan and Tales of Two Tomatoes

  

life

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Nov 29

My little box of memories

by Jeanine Lebsack

I like to think I’m a juxtaposition of a person I can be soft and gentle with my words and actions, and tough and hard when I feel I’m wronged. I was raised to be strong, speak my mind, and stand up for myself. My parents recognized a tenacious spirit in me when I was very young. I have been a right fighter most of my life. Now I ask myself do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy? 

As a child I could stay awake for hours on end while my poor Mom was sleep deprived and living on pots of cast iron tea to function. This is when four tea bags are added to a tea pot and left to steep all day. My Dad worked long hours as a logger and he would be up getting ready for his work day at midnight. I would still be wide awake partying in my crib. 

He would come into my room and tell me it was time to go to sleep and I would wail even louder. As I got older his attempts to put me to bed became more futile as I had language and comprehension. I would say “Daddy you just go away and mind your own business!”He would walk out shaking his head and say “that bloody kid is lucky she’s cute!”

These are the memories I store in my memory box in my mind. My parents died awhile ago and pictures I have in my memory bank are all I have left. I rely on my older siblings recounts of my childhood and a box of slides to preserve these precious moments in time. I remember when I was young how much I loved to set up the projector to have a slide show as all the happy times came to life on the white sheet pinned to the wall of the living room. The pictures would paint a lively account of the trips we took, birthday parties, baseball games, weddings, and church events. 

Now I store my memories in a special box that keep on my beside table. Inside are pictures of my loved ones,their funeral Mass cards, poems, prayers, and trinkets that they gave me. I have the first story that I ever wrote with my Mom and the first song I wrote for her. I have my Dad’s pins from Lion’s club that he was proud to be a member of for over 30 years. I have a pair of earrings and necklace set from my Gram and Grandpa that they gave me for my graduation, and a old travel sewing kit of my Grandpa’s from the war.

 Each time someone I love passes on I add to this little box. It helps me perserve the love I have for them and keep them alive in my heart. I take them out from time to time when I’m feeling low and in need of a lift from angel wings. I hold them, absorbing the love, energy, and every precious memory I have of my time with them. I feel comforted through my tears as they overcome me with emotion flooding my thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

This little box is my gift I give to myself to pick me up when I stumble and forget how to fly. 
This is a special keepsake that I can pass down to my children when it’s my time to have the special things I’ve given them to place in that box. I’ve written them letters of how I became their Mom and the joy that they have given me with that privilege. As for now I open that box and lovingly hold those memories close to my heart so I will never forget the people who made me who I am today with their presence in my life. I thank them for the gift of their love, light, and guidance. 
  

life

8 Comments »
Mar 20

Writer’s Quotes Wednesday 

by Jeanine Lebsack

  

This has been my submission to https://silverthreading.com Writer’s quotes Wednesday. Please check out her inspiration and all the other talent that link up. Thank you. ?

 

life

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