I’ve always had my own personal power that ability to feel comfortable in my skin, and to possess strength, and confidence. The worst thing I could’ve ever done was give my power away. It left me feeling so alone, used, and mistreated. People I thought were my friends, boyfriends that just were after a piece of ass, and adults I wanted to impress all had a piece of my power. Why did I give it up so freely you may ask? Well I was young, impressionable, and thought the rewards would mean more than the sacrifice. Wow was I ever wrong! I remember having a boyfriend give me the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech and I was pathetic and fell for it. Than he hooked up with my “friend” the next weekend. I’ve sat by the phone waiting for my “friends” to pick me up and been stood up. No phone call, no excuse, no apology, nothing. And when I saw them at school the following week it was like nothing ever happened. I felt like such a fool why did I let this happen to me? I knew it was going to but I tried to override my sense, and give people the benefit of the doubt. So many times I had thought it was my anxiety talking, but really that feeling of betrayal was screaming at me!!! It took me a long time to totally trust this sixth sense that has always been a part of me. I think it was my desire as a teenager to appear normal and fit in. I learned some really hard lessons and then I realized I had the ability to take back my power. All I had to do was pray for God’s guidance and listen to my intuition. So little by little I started to trust myself, and had my beloved Mom and Grams guidance when I slipped up. Today things are a lot different in my life I don’t give my power away, and I don’t give anyone the opportunity to take it either. The old me wanted to fit in so badly and be liked. Even allowing bullies to have my personal power and sabotaging any efforts when other people tried to help. The old stick and stones adage which I never believed because words do hurt. They become like jagged daggers tearing away at the heart until it’s bloodied and worthless. So the emotional scar tissue has built up, and I’ve grown stronger and self assured with these learning experiences. Healing has begun and my empathic nature has come shining through new me is happier, and secure and has discovered that the only thing worth giving away is my heart. To someone who’s deemed worthy and not just on a power trip.
*Image used with permission from the amazing http://simpleeserene.com*
This has been my Sunday confession with the awesome Ash at www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. Check out her powerful post and all the other talent that links up. Thank you. ❤️
