House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Mar 9

Dream

by Jeanine Lebsack

I had a dream that most people thought was fiction when I wrote about it. It really wasn’t it was an amazing event that I feel blessed enough to experience. I wrote about it, submitted it and it was published in an International magazine. I was so elated and pleased that I was chosen. And here I am two months later thinking about that dream I had. I’m even dreaming about it, and I let it take me away from my life which has been difficult to bear at times. I wonder where this little girl that I know so well from my childhood dreams will lead me. Will she take me to her favourite places tucked away in a country hillside? Will she lead me back to feelings I had when I heard stories of my Grandma’s Celtic ancestry? Will she talk to me and tell me of her joys of her childhood even though it was a short one? 

I dream of this sweet little girl with the strawberry curl and long to hear of her memories of a family that adored her, and mourned her greatly after her death. I wonder what she remembers about her life. What was her favourite toy, did her doll have a name, what was her special lullaby her Mom sang to her night? My dreams are full of her smiles, the lilt in her voice, and adorable laughter that echoes in my mind long after I wake up. I wonder what she dreams about her parents faces, her siblings smiles, or the beautiful life she’s living now. I wonder who she would’ve been if she was allowed to grow up. I wonder if she’d have children and who she would name them after. I know how much she was loved and adored as it was my Grandma’s baby sister in my dreams.

 She died so tragically and anytime my beloved Gram told the story I would wipe away her tears. I can only imagine the grief and shock the family would feel with her loss. I went searching for her in the death records I had access to through my work. I couldn’t find her and it was so distressing so I prayed to her,

and this is where I am today. She has been located, and due to her untimely death she didn’t have a grave marker. She will now though, I have a family member that will be making her one. After all these years I’m so happy that she will have this closure and honour. And when I go back to my hometown I plan on visiting her. I’ve never seen a picture of her but I always have the one from my dreams. Rest in peace sweet angel, you may be gone but you will never be forgotten. 

This has been my Sunday confession for www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. Please check out her facebook page for anonymous confessions, her talent,  and all the other dreamers that link up. Thank you for being here. ?

life

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Jan 6

Words Upon the Page

by Jeanine Lebsack

What could I place here except my words upon the page? Of love, lust, romance, in the pages that I read. Or of how I like to write in the still of the night while listening to the sounds of slumber. Of dreams I’ve had, thoughts I created, and books I wish to have wrote. I’m a just a mere vessel giving birth to the language of my heart. To read, to write, to feel the passion inside bursting forth from me.

Where does it come from, how did it come to be, this deep raw emotion inside of me? It came from my birth as I yearn for a time before me. Of castles, royalty, peasants, and the like. The call of my ancestors haunts me and I wish to walk in their footsteps. To feel what they felt, and hear what they heard, and wrap myself up in their majestic memories. Of Celtic tales of long ago cradling me in it’s mossy, lovely, presence as the ghosts of the past come back to life and I live vicariously through them. My Celtic blood runs strong in my veins, and I long to be free to explore these dreams and visions that come to me.

Of a little girl with a head of strawberry curls, and she beckons to me in the ethers. Shall I follow her and if I did where would we go? Would I end up on the lost island of Hye Brazil lost long ago within the shroud of mystery. I hear the call of my homeland to a place I only know in my dreams. Where fields of green greet me and I feel a chill in the air as the waves crash against the craggy cliffs. And I’m transported in time and space as I take the hand of the little girl with the strawberry curls, and she giggles and dances with glee, as I sit down to rest.

“Where are we going dear one. I ask?” “To the land that you love the best.” “Where do you come from my sweet one, and why is it me you seek?” ” I come from the land as the same as you, the beauty of the north, the strong and true.” I come to the homelands of my parents birth as you can see, it’s the most beautiful place on earth.” I did not seek you, I just came as you called, I’ve answered your hearts yearning and have calmed your fears.” She answered. As I see beauty all around me I must dry my tears. As the waves pound against the shore and I find myself craving more. The Irish sea rises up to greet me as I tiptoe across the sand, I know in all sincerity this is my homeland.
 

life

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Dec 31

Busting out of my Comfort Zones

by Jeanine Lebsack

Well here I am the night before New Years Eve working on some goals. I’ve had these for awhile but I wouldn’t call them resolutions. Ever since I started this blog it’s become my online journal. I didn’t intend for that to happen, but here it is in all its glory. I believe the best things happen in life when we’re not paying attention to the outcome. I’m not sure if I read that or just came up with it. Either way, it’s been a blessing for me and the best therapy I’ve ever received. And with the years of therapy, and the book shelves full of self help genre that’s a gift in itself. The first blog I wrote a year ago was titled Comfort Zones. So it seems fitting that I writing this one today. I’ve spent a lot of time writing and I have stacks of binders, journals, and pink rose scented paper of my poetry. In one of my many moves I looked at this stack of papers and thought I wonder if I could start a blog with this. So jsack1 was born with jsackmom at the helm. I have yet to include any of my old school writing created with pen and paper. I do plan to let that see the light of day in the new year. So I had the honour of being featured as a guest blogger with the lovely http://loorducation.com. My heart is filled to the brim with gratitude and appreciation. My first guest blog with the beautiful brain filled with me so much pride, and my thankfulness for that opportunity is felt deeply. Then finding out I was featured with http://FeaturedEMag.com while looking for new blogs to follow and finding my own, was truly a gift indeed! I’ve been blessed to meet some wonderful fellow bloggers on this journey to find myself. As well as receiving accolades of the Liebster blogger award and most recently the Very inspiring blog award. Stay tuned as I’ll be writing up my acceptance blog and nominating some other bloggers. As well as sending a proper thank you to the amazing http://maryswordsandpictures.com for the nomination. She has opened the door to allow me to guest blog there as well. I’m also breaking right out of my comfort zones and submitting my writing to websites. I’ve been a little gun shy of this because of submitting before but receiving no response. Due to the encouragement of my lovely blogger friend and my sweet friend my muse, Ingrid, I’ve decided to branch out. I’m taking my blog to another platform on Bloglovin. I will still be here with my supportive WordPress community where your kindness has allowed me to blossom. I thank you and if you’re at Bloglovin let me know and if you’d like to follow me there here’s a link. Thank you my readers for being sweet, wonderful, you. Happy new year blessings sent from my home to yours. ❤️?

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life

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