House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

#1000 speak- My heart Connection to the ones I love 

My story I have to tell is a treasured one, it’s one I think about when I steal away for some quite hours to myself. I’ve moved a lot in my life between parents, Grandparents, and siblings. I have always been searching for that connection I had when I was young when I’d sit around the table drinking cast iron tea (steeped so much it poured out black into my porcelain cup). I would nibble on my Irish scones  and laugh with my elders. They would call me a “little tea Granny” and I would feel this amazing heart connection.
 As I mentioned earlier I had a wandering spirit and then I met and fell in love with another. We have formed this beautiful union made complete with our children. We have moved due to my husband’s job transfers four times in the last 20 years. Three times as a newly married couple and twice as family. We have now lived in our new home for almost a year. Every town that I live at I strive to make a heart connection. I’ve been blessed to work a lot and able to make friends easily, before marriage. After marriage and children I found the opportunities were plentiful, and my life had become all about parks, play dates, and picnics.

 I have met a lot of people and established friendships in every town I’ve lived in. It hasn’t been easy moving so much and making those connections. But I’ve persevered and done my best to socialize with other parents through my son’s schools or sport teams. When I moved from my hometown where I was born and raised, I lived in a town the same size. I worked a lot and my love and I were new to living together. We were in that town for thirteen years and will always feel like home to me. There I was established a heart connection and the best of friends I could ever ask for! 

We got engaged there and spent our first few months as a married couple there. When we moved to the city we had been married, bought our first house, and were expecting our first child. It was a whirlwind of moving in, unpacking and seeing all the things I owned after three months. I met friends through my husband’s work and my own. Then I took my maternity  leave and along came my precious baby. I attended a baby talk group for parents and met a wonderful group of Mom’s. We all remain friends to this day, and have seen our children grow up together. Over the years the circle grew and spread out as a few of us have moved away. There’s still the four of us that remain heart connected  and keep each other in the know of our lives. 

We were blessed to live there for six years and with them I found my sisterhood. I then moved on to a smaller town that charmed me with it’s beautiful mountain air, lakes, and forests and reminded me of my hometown. I met the most wonderful neighbour who filled our heart and home with her generosity, kindness, and love. Who took to my children like Grandma would to Grandchildren. She adored them and they loved and cherished her in return. In this town I met some wonderful parents, attended play group with my youngest, and school with my oldest. I went to the same place almost daily where I felt was a safe little cocoon in my life. 

While I struggled to sell a home, find a home, and survive hotel living for half a year! I have always loved the theatre so I attended a play with my son and I in costume and connected with each performance from this talented cast. We joined up for their next production and in that time the heart connection was made with my new theatre family.  I was blessed with and given a Mom who I fell in love with her giving heart, adorable children, and her strong faith in God and humanity that echoed my own. I found a Mom with incredible visual and artistic talent and a devotion to make a better life for her son then she had for herself.

 It was there in that play group I found the yin to my yang with a Mom who’s children were her life line and they were hers. This woman gave so freely from her heart, loved with her whole being, touched lives and hearts with her beautiful smile and friendly manner. It is because of her that I made it through a very long four month stint of solo parenting when my husband got transferred. 

 She sat with me and laughed and cried over wine, memories of our beloved Mom’s, and the dreams for our children. She looked after my children so I could attend theatre practices, loving them like her own. I was given the gift of friendship with her brilliant mind, heart, and love. Our hearts connected and I’ve never been the same since. And it fills me with great sadness that I have to attend her funeral tomorrow instead of hugging her hello. She flies with the angels now, talks with them, and looks down upon her loved ones with a joy and pride. Fly gently onto thee rest my sweet angel friend. Heaven was made a greater place with your entrance. Until I see you again, I offer this simple prayer. 

  

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Writer’s Quotes Wednesday’s 





This is my submission for http://silverthreading.com please check out her talent as well as everyone who links up. This poem is dedicated to my sweet step sister. Gone too soon, but never forgotten.  Thank you. ?

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An angel with a pink balloon

I’m going to tell you a story about a little girl, let’s call her Sweetie. She had a special event to go to her with Mom and there were going to be pictures. She was dressed in a beautiful dress, frilly with crinoline, lace, socks and shoes. This wasn’t her choice to wear this outfit, but it made her Grandma happy who picked it out especially for her. The trouble was no matter how beautiful the dress was, or how gorgeous sweetie looked in it, it made her miserable. You see sweetie has a neurological condition called Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). I’ll let Dr. Jean Ayre’s explain it better than I can.

Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD, formerly known as “sensory integration dysfunction”) is a condition that exists when sensory signals don’t get organized into appropriate responses. Pioneering occupational therapist and neuroscientist A. Jean Ayres, PhD, likened SPD to a neurological “traffic jam” that prevents certain parts of the brain from receiving the information needed to interpret sensory information correctly. A person with SPD finds it difficult to process and act upon information received through the senses, which creates challenges in performing countless everyday tasks. Motor clumsiness, behavioral problems, anxiety, depression, school failure, and other impacts may result if the disorder is not treated effectively.

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This is why the dress felt uncomfortable on Sweetie’s skin. The crinoline and lace made her feel itchy, and the socks made her feel like her feet and legs were on fire. This may sound like an intense reaction to an outfit for a picture day. But this is how things feel to a child with SPD. The time came for pictures to be taken and poor Sweetie was having a difficult time. Each time the camera flashed or made a clicking sound, her ears were bombarded with the noise. The longer she had to be there looking gorgeous but suffering, caused her body to go into sensory overload. Sweetie’s Mom was watching, waiting, hyper vigilant to help her daughter but feeling helpless. The photographer taking the pictures made comments about Sweetie’s behavior. Her Mom responded to the photographer with “that’s not a very nice thing to say.” Even after her Mom explained that Sweetie has a sensory condition. The useful information wasn’t needed or heeded to help sweetie, and the unprofessionalism continued. The fact that a family picture caused such a negative response from the photographer spoke volumes of her lack of professionalism. She dismissed Sweetie’s Mom with a comment “it’s not my fault you put her in that dress.” Finally the photo session was over and sweetie’s Mom quickly undressed her and put her back into the cotton dress she arrived in. It felt so nice and soft on her skin and didn’t make her feel like a prickly cactus! She even wanted to make her Nana happy and put on her pretty picture dress over top of her cotton one. Dinner and cake were enjoyed by all and then it was time to go home. Sweetie had a pink balloon as a lovely reminder of her Great Grandma’s birthday and looking at it floating around in the car made her happy. Her parents made a quick stop and she changed into her pajamas. Then the unthinkable happened the balloon got loose and floated up into the sky. Poor Sweetie was so sad and broke down crying. And at that moment a woman appeared knocking on the window of the car with another pink balloon! That angel with the pink balloon was there when Sweetie needed her the most. An open door into the spirit of love and giving. The photographer was judgement personified and a closed door. What a simple blessing for a sweet little girl in the gift of a pink balloon. ?

*Disclaimer*

This is a true story that happened to a sweet little girl and her loving Mom. As soon as I read it I felt compelled to tell their story, with their permission. Thank you for reading. ?

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An Angel in Wendy’s

I read a blog tonight that reminded me of an experience I had with a server at a fast food restaurant. I thank you for the inspiration http://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com. Reading what you wrote tonight made me remember my story. So here I am to tell it, I went away for the long weekend with my kids and we were out of our routine. With my youngest son having SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) too many transitions, lack of self regulation, and the busy noise of the world can be a lot for him to handle. I try my best to keep us on routine with his sensory “diet” but all the newness of people, places, things, can cause issues for him. We had gone out for lunch to Wendy’s and it was very busy. I was with my brothers so I went up with my kids to order. There was a long line up and I was praying we’d be served quickly. My oldest son was doing his best to keep his brother occupied, by singing and making silly faces. That’s when it all started as my son threw himself on the floor. I felt the judgmental looks, heard the angry whispers, instantly as my out of control child started reacting to his environment. I picked him up and held him the best I could. Holding my toddler is like holding a bag of snakes! Then he started shrieking which starts out as singing, yelling, and then full blown “stimming” as he seeks out sensory input. A sensory meltdown is what ensues if I can’t help regulate and calm him. It’s hard for me not to be embarrassed even though I’ve been through it before. I avoid restaurants for this very reason, as well as all the judgement that follows.

And then our server appeared and she smiled and said “you look like you could use some help Mom.” I smiled and said “you have no idea how much I’d appreciate that.” She took our order and talked to my son like he was the most fascinating person she’d had ever seen. She also gave him a cup to play with. He just beamed at her with his sweet smile and stopped shrieking. I breathed a sigh of relief and I felt everyone around me did as well. I got my food and sat down to eat and my brother said “I don’t know how you do it.” I replied “I don’t think about it, I just get it done.” After we ate I went up to say thank you, and my server said she had been there before, and remembered what it was like. I smiled and said it was a blessing all the same and she was making a difference in the world. I left the restaurant and buckled my kids in their seats, and I heard someone calling my name. I turned around and it was wonderful her, she came up to thank me. She asked me if I’d fill out a comment card, as her boss said she needed to be recognized. I agreed not only for her excellent customer service, but her compassion as well. I looked at her name tag after introducing myself and saw her name was Angel. I gave her a big hug and went on my way hopeful that I could get through another tough day. When I wanted to cry and run away and hide my son from all that negativity. It takes seconds to return a smile, and a lifetime to forget ones never given. Thank you Angel for being an angel that day, and your cup of kindness. ❤️

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