House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❀️

Sleep deprivation

Going without sleep does strange things to a person. You begin to forget what day it is as your days and nights merge into each other. There’s never enough hours to even catch up and the mood swings are crazy! Odd little scenarios play out in my head “my name’s Mrs. Bitchy, and I’ll be your bitch today.” After I’ve been sleep deprived for a few days I’ve been known to be the mayor of bitchyville. I just want to curl up and sleep for a hundred years like Rip Van Winkle. Β Everything starts to suffer like my relationships, household, projects, and health. As everything in my world starts to focus on sleep, as I count how many hours I get and how much I’ve lost. I become obsessed with counting Bon existent sheep and exist as a “Mombie” living on snacks and caffeine. My kids begin to forget what a fun Mom I used to be as this shell of an exhausted Mom takes her place. The guilt I feel is crushing, even debilitating, and I want to be able to whisk my kids away with fun and laughter for an awesome adventure. All the things that cause me to have sleepless nights begin to wear on me and my patience runs thin. The guilt wears away at my heart that I wear on my sleeve, and I do all I can to make up for my deficits. My children are so loving and forgiving and understand when I just need to crash hard on the couch while they watch a movie. I catch up when I can on the weekends when my kind husband lets me sleep in. It’s not always this way, sometimes everyone gets more sleep than usual even me. That’s a glorious night when I get more than four hours of sleep and I survive to face another day. Through a sleep hazed fog we don’t think, see, or feel clearly so I do my best not to take my crankiness out on the ones I love. If I do my guilt is punishment enough for my transgressions. Sleep apnea plagues my sweet little boy so restful nights are few and far between for him as well. Now we finally find someone and some ways to help him. So here’s to sleep filled nights, caffiene, cuddles, love, laughter, and happiness. Because without these things my world would be a dark place indeed. I celebrate my sleep victories and look forward to restful nights ahead.

No Responses to “Sleep deprivation”

  1. Sleep well! πŸ™‚

  2. Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope that what I post, the words that I sense the Lord speaking to me cam be of comfort to you also when in a dark place or going through frustration or maybe loneliness. You are loved by Him everyday. Hugs.

  3. I know how sleep deprivation affects us.

  4. nicolerigets says:

    So well put… “Sleep Victories” & “Mombie” will be words I credit you with as I journalize my sleepless nights. Each day I bless my beans before I grind them. πŸ™‚

    • jsackmom says:

      Aww thank you so much! I can totally relate to the zombies when I watch the Walking Dead. Not the craving brains part, just the need for caffeine and a nap or both at the same time. Sweet dreams to you sweet Nicole. ??

  5. Oh so familiar! Mombie stalks and rules this place many a time. Always fear I will become so sleepless I will turn into Edward Norton in Fight Club and grow an extra personality that kicks heinies and raises mayhem. Although…some of that could be a little cool. πŸ™‚ Good post!

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you, yes I’ve come to think sleep is overrated at times. It still makes me want more, but I take what I can get and catch up on a nap or two on the weekends. This Mombie likes wine and Ed Norton. ?

  6. Ah yes, sleep deficits. I am definitely feeling this today, might give you a run for that Mayor of Bitchyville!

    • jsackmom says:

      Oh no sorry to read of you not feeling well rested! It’s such a strange zone to be in. I just feel like I’m living in Charlie Brown land where everyone sounds like his parents. People are talking to me but all I hear through my sleep fog, is wah wah wah wah! I hope you can catch some zzzz’s very soon. ?

  7. Donna Miglino says:

    After almost 15 years of no sleep, I have gone way past the “tired and bitchy” and directly into “happy amidst the delirium”!!

    • jsackmom says:

      It’s a way of life isn’t it hon? I wrote this a year ago and not much has changed in the sleeping patterns. Except I’ve had someone finally join my team willing to help my son. Happy, delirious, chronically optimistic and exhausted describes me most days. ??❀️

  8. We are kindred because sleep comes to me when I can’t partake in it. Like right now, it is almost 4pm. My prime time that I could crash. But I usually push past it and then I am overtired which messes up my sleep again! Great blog!

  9. Indira says:

    I can relate with this as I’m also sleep deprived very much. Without sleeping pill I can’t sleep but the funny thing is that sleeps comes when it is not appreciated.

    • jsackmom says:

      It’s a difficult road in life to have sleep issues. Now I’m finally getting control of my son’s it’s time to deal with my insomnia. I still agree that naps are the best gift you can give to yourself. ?

  10. cinnamon4789 says:

    I understand where you’re coming from! I’ve had sleep deprivation for many years and I’m only 26. I just can’t fall into a deep sleep and I’m always so exhausted during the day. It sucks!

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