I find myself seeking companionship lately. I’ve been content with staying in my bubble and carrying on with life yet I’m seeking someone to call a friend. It takes me awhile to branch out socially whenever I relocate. It’s a lot different now as I find I’m not needed as much at my youngest sons school.
That’s where I meet a majority of my friends or through my other sons hockey. I spent so much time volunteering in kindergarten that I knew all his classmates and was the teachers right hand woman. I knew it was bound to happen as he gets older classroom volunteering becomes a thing of the past.
What I didn’t expect was that I would feel so lost without it. I like having the freedom to spend my days as I wish but it felt good to be needed. Now it’s quiet in my home and I fill my days with keeping busy as possible.
It’s always a little anxiety inducing when making friends. As a lot of my friendships start out online. That’s part of my life as a special needs parent. I don’t fit in with a lot of Mom groups as my kids are older and I’m not at any library or play based programs. There was a time when my life revolved around preschool, parks, and play dates.
Also I have a son with autism and ADHD so play dates with typical kids can be tricky. I seek out other Moms who get me and my sons journey and don’t judge. I have these online Facebook groups and they’ve become my lifeline. From autism, rare diseases, genetic and sensory processing disorders there are parents are walking the same or similar path.
I recently met a Mom from one of these groups and it felt so wonderful to just sit and talk about our lives. There’s no judgement, expectations, or even a need to keep the conversation going. There’s no uncomfortable silences as it’s probably the first time we’ve been able to think about ourselves first in awhile. And when someone looks you in the eye and says I get it and I got your back Mama that’s a great feeling.
4 thoughts on “Friendship”
I know what you’re going through Jeanine. What helped my wife was our community had a group for parents of children with special needs. That helped her make friends with like minded moms. Is there such a group around you?
Hi Mike yes I’ve reached out to a local online one. I’ve met a couple of Moms from it. What I really miss is my support groups I belonged to. So now I’m going to start going to a new one I found for autism parents. I’m glad your wife was able to find a group as no parent is an island. ?
And crying here, too.
It’s a big shift when other people’s lives seem to really change and get more free in ways that ours do not. We love our kids so much and would never resent them but let’s face it, this is hard.
My best friend moved away so her son (who is on the spectrum like mine, they are “best friends” too) could go to a more suitable school and I’ve been lonely since. It’s NOT the same as when the kids were little and you spent all that time with other moms, etc…
I hope you will find that friend – and it sounds like you may already have found her!
Thanks and love,
I wish I knew you in real life Mama because I know we’d be fast friends! This journey can be the most challenging and rewarding. It can be hard to be in the trenches of a sensory overloaded meltdown if not dealt with quickly can result in self harm. My heart feels heavy to think of all my friends that are able to fly to exciting destinations and parents that can take a romantic weekend away. My husband is my best friend and for that I’m grateful yet we still need to have other friends to relate and vent to. My situation is just the opposite of yours sweet Mama. I was the one that moved away and it was another Mom with a son with autism. Our sons were best friends and we’re like twin souls. They got each other just as much as us Moms did. I’m grateful for technology as there’s so many ways to keep in touch. It’s just that daily check in and knowing we could go for coffee and have those play dates I miss the most. I pray that you find another kindred soul as they would be blessed to have your friendship. Much love and respect to you. ❤️