House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Ten Things of Thankful-Feeling prayful

on 25 April 2016

There are times in life when some things just don’t make any sense. Death for one isn’t something I can fathom. Whether a loved one is young or old, natural causes or sudden tragedies it tears at my empathic heart. My husband and I recently lost a friend this week. The sadness overtakes me as this special soul leaves behind a beautiful, caring wife and three amazing kids. I think about the last conversation we had, the laughter, the reminiscing, the hugs of let’s keep in touch. Just when I start to ride a grief wave another loss happens, and I’m threatened to be pulled under by the melancholy cloud of darkness. I don’t think I’m supposed to understand death I’ve lost too many people to count in the last ten years. I’m beginning to believe that I’m just supposed to survive the affects of death and keep learning and appreciating the life lessons I’m taught. I will now begin to attempt to find some thankfuls as part of Lizzi’s TTOT linkup and glean a silver lining in a dark cloud. 

I’m thankful that even though it’s been a difficult week my husband has been able to talk about his feelings. He attended his childhood friends funeral while I attended an appointment. He told me it was good to see old friends and there’s comfort in knowing how many turned out for the sad day and how loved our friend was. 

I’m thankful that I kept my head and my heart busy with baking, walks in the sunshine, and movie time cuddles. My oldest (Captain) went with his Dad and spent time with family. The youngest (Mad dog) stayed home with me and enjoyed having me all to himself. 

I’m thankful that my Mad dog is making great progress with his behavioural aid sessions. His fine motor skills are improving so next we will continue working on having him sit for longer periods at circle time. It’s a large part of preschool and kindergarten and I want to prepare him for when he attends his new school. I’m so proud of his accomplishments in the last six months. ❤️

I’m thankful that I had silly, sweet, text conversations with my Captain while he was traveling with his Dad. We chatted from everything about wrestling (he’s a John Cena and Shane McMahon fan), Donald Trump versus the world, and how he wants to surprise his brother with the best beef jerky on the planet. I sure love my son and his creative mind! ❤️

I’m thankful for healthy meals, daily exercise, and relaxing in my hot tub with my family. When I have these things in my life everything just flows better and I feel so happy and loved. My fitness journey is ongoing and I strive to grow stronger in mind and body everyday. 

I’m thankful for catching up on housework, the dreaded laundry monster, and enjoying some beautiful summer weather. My moods are really tied to how much vitamin D I’m getting so the sunshine’s my elixir in life. 

I’m thankful for earth day this week. My Mad dog and I went for a walk by the river with his behavioural aid. We skipped stones jumped from rock to rock and took in the beauty and appreciation of our home. I’m grateful for the fresh clean water, the plants and trees providing me with oxygen and the flowers blooming and letting me enjoy their fragrance and aromatherapy. 

I’m thankful for reading, writing, and accomplishing my work tasks. I still have a few things to catch up on but I’m crossing things off my list and that’s a win/win in my world. Organization has never been my strong suit but as I see my piles of clutter becoming less I feel more in control of the direction I’m taking. It’s the old adage “cluttered space equals a cluttered mind.”

I’m thankful that I was able to apply that mindfulness to eliminating my digital and online clutter as well. Now that I’ve deleted data, cleaned up email accounts, and uploaded pictures onto my computer my phone/office is running at the speed of light! It’s amazing what a good feeling of satisfaction that can generate. 

I’m thankful for late night cuddles when my son can’t sleep. Late night talks and tuck ins when they miss me when it’s time to go to sleep. I’m getting to a point now where they don’t need me as much, especially my Captain. It’s so rewarding to see them growing and discovering the world and still wanting me by their side to chat about life and it’s mysteries. 

I’m thankful we had a successful follow up appointment with my youngest son’s sleep specialist. Since his diagnosis of autism in February and asthma in March we’re solving more health mysteries. The asthma medication has improved his breathing and shrunk his tonsils so much she doesn’t think he needs surgery! Now I will push for the MRI and see what’s going on inside his brain in regards to where the sleep apnea is originating from. Central sleep apnea is a a very serious condition-whereas the brain isn’t communicating with the heart and lungs about getting sufficient oxygen intake. Knowing my son is safe, breathing and sleeping properly is an answer to my prayers. Thank you to all you sweet souls who have expressed concern, said prayers, and empathized with us on this long, sleep deprived journey. This is the best outcome and update I could ever hope and pray for! I’m so thankful to God for these blessings. ?


12 Responses to “Ten Things of Thankful-Feeling prayful”

  1. 80smetalman says:

    That’s great news about your younger son. It also seems that you’ve had another busy week and got through it with flying colours, Well done to you. BTW, did you get my email?

  2. A says:

    You have my deepest condolences for your loss, sending my love <3

  3. Lizzi says:

    Ohhhmigosh I am SO GLAD about the asthma meds, and I hope you get the scan booked soon. Knowing that your son will be sleeping safely will be SUCH a burden lifted.

    So sorry to hear about your friend. I’m glad your last interaction with him was such a good one; so positive and full of joy. That must have meant something, I’m sure.

    On another note, I SO VERY HEAR YA about getting emails tidied up. I have an inbox FULL, which just needs to be gone through very rigorously and I should probably set aside time to make it happen.

    • jsackmom says:

      It’s been a relief so many setbacks and now some positive news with my son’s health is a blessing indeed! I cried tears of joy when I heard he may not need surgery. Finally after two long years something’s working! It’s been a roller coaster of emotions and sometimes life’s unfair when it comes to dealing with death. Holding onto memories is something I’ve become quite adept at. At least we never loss those like we lose a life to become a soul. ?

  4. So very sorry to hear of your friend’s passing. But very good news about your son! And I’d say you definitely managed to find some beautiful (and practical!) thankfuls in your week. I’ve been out of it a lot lately – miss you! Hope to be catching up more now that I’m starting to feel better.

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you Lisa yes it was a week of some many downs and ups. It’s hard to keep my emotions in check with everything going on. I’ve missed you too, I’m looking forward to reading all about LTYM experience. ?❤️

  5. I love how even in grief you are able to look at your life and realize wonderfulness. Your family is blessed to have you in their lives <3

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you honey that’s an amazing compliment. Finding the light in the dark cloud of sadness keeps me going. My family is that love light that sustains me. ?

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