What feels normal to you? Is it fitting in with the crowd, wearing clothes that are in style, or using a trending hashtag? Are you meant to blend in with the crowd or stick out like a sore thumb? I was always the later in my childhood days. The more I tried to fit in with the popular crowd the more I stood out. I’ve been called strange, weirdo, drama queen, and a worry wart. I wasn’t meant to be in the popular crowd morphing into something I’m not. I was born to shine and be my unique self.
I don’t believe there’s enough of that in today’s world. Most of society is convinced to buy the newest electronic device, wear the latest brand name, and listen to the most popular band. There was a word for these people when I was in high school, they were called sheep. This wasnt something I would judge because we’re all looking for validation in some way or another.
It’s lonely being the one without the big group of friends and on everyone’s social list. It also wasn’t something I strived to be either I found the pressure to be excepted by the cool kids was to immense for my fragile ego. I still don’t gravitate to that in my life. What’s the point of transforming your beautiful, unique self into someone that you don’t recognize nor respect. I walked this path once while my clothes were ridiculed, my hair style was criticized, and I sat there getting makeup applied with a heavy hand to my face. All I wanted to do was impress a boy and I ended up walking away from it all and the insanity and holding my self esteem intact.
After that brief experience of doubting myself I knew I had to work even harder on loving and excepting myself. As soon as I knew who I was other people would want to know too. In the first time in a very long time I feel comfortable in my skin. I laugh at my own jokes, break into song when I feel the urge, and I dance to the beat of my drum. This is who I’m comfortable being and how I raise my kids to be. I’ve lived my life with the philosophy of believing in myself and honouring that child that my parents brought into the world. Every time I let insecurities take their toll my soul dies a little. Normal is relative to weird and I’m ok with that.
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