This is a special day to me the day I celebrate how thankful I am on my Canadian Thanksgiving. It doesn’t take a lot of practice to be thankful, but it takes a lot of self control to not be negative and stop complaining. I took a 21 day stop complaining challenge that my lovely friend invited me to. I learned more about myself and my knee jerk trigger reactions to daily life in 3 weeks, than I would’ve just allowing myself to complain. You can read about it here. I felt more empowered after I completed the challenge to do more loving acts of kindness, be more positive , and to stop complaining!
I now focus on being thankful for my blessings and remind myself to complain less. I’m finding with each thing that irks me I become mindful and just breathe and then will myself to let it go. It makes me feel so much more in control of my emotions instead of letting them control me. My relationship with my children has become closer and better because I’m focusing on hearing them out then just jumping to conclusions and complaining.
I read something awhile back in a parenting workshop about how to miss a childhood, and one thing that stood out to me was not listening to your children. As the days went by where I was keeping myself accountable to stop my endless complaining I began to really listen. I’m a talker I like to use different tones and inflections in my voice so to just listen was a feat in itself! The more I did though, the more I connected with my son’s, and the more they wanted to connect with me.
I have always been a right fighter and needed to have the last word. In my marriage that has led to difficult times. I always tended to blame my childhood as I’m the youngest of six. Growing up as the youngest I didn’t always feel my voice was heard without yelling and fighting. But the sad truth is I’ve been in denial I just wanted to be simply be right and validated. As I became more mindful of this trigger my marriage changed for the better. More love, more patience, and more respect were infused in my thoughts, words, and actions was the result.
I began to listen more and talk less, and it changed me from always needing to be right and have the last word. I won’t kid myself and say this isn’t a struggle some days. It’s been a large part of my life and I won’t change overnight. I’m confident though that I will change daily. Because I’m so thankful for my family they lift me up when my heart’s hurting, and love and forgive me when I don’t feel I deserve it. I’m so thankful that I am a strong personality to contend with because I don’t back down, and that has served me well with advocating for my children.
They’re starting to see a gentler, more mindful Mom than a screaming, complaining banshee of a torment. I’m not proud of those moments when I’ve let the crazy train run off the rails. I am proud that I’ve taken the steps to change that from promoting and participating in my self care. I exercise more, and panic less. I meditate more and hold my breath less. I’m thankful for the calm that can full my days if I allow it to. I’m thankful for this rebirth of me and my loves, my country, and this Thanksgiving day. ❤️