Wearing my heart on my sleeve
I’ve always been an emotional person the wear my heart on my sleeve kind of gal. There’s times where I think I need to have a thicker skin or put my heart away so I don’t get so easily hurt. It comes part and parcel with being empathic I feel people’s feelings, and I can “touch” people’s energy. I know when someone isn’t good for me or my loved ones and I can stay clear.
I do my best to give people the benefit of the doubtand not judge a book by its cover. It will still happen to me and someone I love, that’s the way of the world unfortunately. Today was just like any other day before preschool filled with excitement an anticipation. My son loves going to school and he wears and shows his feelings with his whole body. He was so excited to stomp up the stairs and count with me. He loves seeing his teachers and playing with his favourite toys there. For the last month him and I have considered this a safe, fun, and educational place. Today though something happened and I’m still trying to process it.
I have something brewing in my mind and my heart. If I don’t get it out I think I will combust! I was sure as I mulled it over to see how I could’ve handled it differently it would evolve into a blog post at some point. Today I was waiting with my son for preschool to start. There was a couple of families there and a little girl was staring at my son. He was standing there stomping as it’s his new thing that he does to feel comfortable in his environment, to gain sensory input. It’s an eclosed narrow hallway so his stomping is quite loud with its sound vibrations.
I asked him to please quiet his feet inside and a classmate of his looked at him and announced to her Mom that he was crazy. The Mom (who did not acknowledge me besides with nervous laughter) said to another parent at that age crazy is good. I stood there stupefied, angry, and hurt for my son. I told him you’re awesome and don’t let anyone change that! My son isn’t crazy he’s very busy and full of kinetic energy and must move to learn. He has Sensory Processing Disorder #SPD and this how his eight senses react to sensory input.
We all know we have our five basic senses of touch, taste, sight, hearing, sound, and smell. There’s many more types of senses but I’ll focus on the other three I was referring to:
- Propriocepetion- gives you the ability to know where your body is in space within your environment in relation to your other body parts. Think of the song Head, shoulders, knees, and toes.
- Equilibrioception- relates to our vestibular sense that’s found in the inner ear. This sensory sense is all about our ability to balance and have agility.
- Interoception- relates to our body’s sensory system to know when we’re hungry, thirsty, or the urge to eliminate.
My son is constantly seeking sensory input as all these senses build up inside his brain, body, and central nervous system and cause a traffic jam. Some of his senses are strong and some are weak and how he needs to seek out input looks different to everybody.
This misguided observation we encountered didn’t bother my son at all. He doesn’t see himself any differently from other kids. He continued stomping while I stood there stewing in my furiousness for this hurtful remark. He made music with his feet, all be it loud music and made a little girl dance. Then that started a chain reaction and another classmate started twirling and he was still smiling and stomping.
Although I saw his happiness I felt my heart crack for my child. He’s not different he’s different abled and is receiving therapy from his team so that he can function better in a world that can at times misunderstand and judge him. On Oct. 8 th it’s Sensory Processing Disorder Awareness please spread the love, awareness, and educate for SPD.
34 thoughts on “Wearing my heart on my sleeve ”
Great post for those not knowing what spd is <3
Thank you my sweet sunflower. ?❤️
I agree with sunflower, great post Jeanine. I hope this goes viral because a lot of people out there need to be educated about SPD.
Awe Mike you’re so kind to me. Thank you so much I know it’s a very misunderstood disorder. From friends to family I’ve heard all the things you’re not supposed to say to someone with SPD, or someone you love who has it. I do make it my mission to educate than keep myself stuck in judgement mode. ??
I’m glad you posted about SPD too …..
A lot of people (your friends) don’t know the facts including myself .. I do now!
You are doing the very best you can for your son.
Don’t worry I believe GOD won’t give us more then we can handle….
With the adaquate support you WILL require (praying it will be enough)…..you are going to do just fine …
Hang in there Jeanine!! ((HUGS)) ?
Thank you Colleen, I knew a little about SPD when I started training as a learning disabilities tutor. Then my friends daughter was diagnosed with it and I went into research mode. Now I learned what both of my son’s and I have. I was much more able to deal with the knowledge having that background information. It’s not always easy and it’s not always hard. It’s just a small part of what makes my sweet boy so wonderful. I do my best to see the world from his eyes. ?
Well said and with your heart….sad parents show there own personal fear of something they don’t even understand or could comprehend…..your little one is full of life…notin wrong with that…
Thank you so much, yes I agree after my anger subsided I was left with so much sadness. It was a teaching moment and wasn’t addressed properly. I did discuss it with the preschool staff because it’s not ok to call anyone crazy. Thank you for stopping by. ?
agreed!!…some people just don’t think about what there actions will do to others….whether its from fear or self righteousness….working in the medical field I have seen people that are scared shitless of someone else’s situation (illness) and they always react badly…scared it could affect them personally if they get to close….stupidity is very sad, and can be detrimental to others…sorry that happened to you and him…
I agree so much I saw the parent yesterday and they didn’t even want to attempt eye contact with me. Thank you so much for your understanding and kindness. ?
yes I am sure they are feeling like assholes and can’t bring themselves to say I am sorry…why is that so hard for people….don’t they know it doesn’t make the look small…just the opposite….ahem…..
If I’m in the wrong I offer my apologies and move on. But the discomfort and not acknowledging that it was wrong is maddening to me. ?
so agree sweetheart…I sit here and shake my head in wonder how parent can be so insensitive to another child and parent….my only thought is they are true assholes….
It was sure a wake up call for me thinking that everything was ok. I’ve got my blinders off and I’m raising my son’s resilience up to superhero level. ?
I believe he is!!!
Thank you so much. ??
I don’t wish any harm to them…but may all there holiday meals this year burn and taste bitter….never hurts right….
Nor do I, burnt Turkey is some bad karma. ?
that’s what I thought….!!!
It’s my thanksgiving this weekend in Canada I’m really looking forward to it. ?
Well then…let the festivities begin….Happy Canadian Thanksgiving…are you doing the whole turkey dinner ??
Thank you oh yes all the turkey and the trimmings. I’ve been doubling up on my workouts so I can really feast. ?
after all it is Thanksgivings…just go easy on the mashed and gravy…my favorite is the marsh mellowed sweet potatoes and turkey with cranberries….ummmm your making me hungry sister!!!!
I could just eat turkey, cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. I’m going to load up on veggies instead of gravy this year. ?
Today is a day where I eat guilt free I kept up on my workouts, except one being sidelined by a headache. I love turkey and all the trimmings, so I will enjoy and be thankful that we can afford a wonderful meal. And be very thankful for my amazing family to share it with. ?
I agree that’s what I will be doing at our holiday dinners, but being mindful I don’t need to overstuff…LOL
Yes I agree mindful eating is the key to not having a turkey coma at the end of the day. ?
I guess the little girl’s mother didn’t know how to explain to her daughter why it’s not polite to call people crazy, etc., etc. My mother was always talking to us about not making fun of people, to be respectful to grownups, etc., the entire time I was growing up. That’s the job of a parent which is sorely lacking in some instances. Thanks for explaining SPD. Jack sounds like a lot of fun, despite the obstacles he’s faced. I hope that he continues to enjoy school! 🙂
Thanks for the follow!
Thank you so much for reading Pamela. That’s how I was raised as well that some words hurt, and we must be respectful of our differences. I know the word “crazy” is a trigger for me so to hear it in regards to my son opened up a wound. I do my best to educate and spread awareness of SPD and neurological disorders in general. I’ve learned so much with my son’s journey and seeing a teaching moment I will welcome the opportunity to accommodate. In this instance I was so caught off guard and let my emotions take over. I know next time I’ll be better prepared and I hope for a more positive experience. ?
I would have done the same and I’m sorry, I thought the title of your blog was Jack’s blog. I get up too early, I think. 🙂
Oh that’s ok I stay up late and wake up early. ?
My daughter also has SPD since she was in 5th grade (that’s when she was diagnosed) she is now 20 many years of struggle and other people judging her was the hardest I had to defend her many times to teachers and family she a wonderful girl
It’s definitely a journey not a destination Jamie. I’m sorry you had to go through that judgement with your sweet daughter. I tend to think that it’s more the fear from the ones who judge things they don’t understand is sad. You’re daughter’s very lucky to have you in her corner. All the best to you both. ?