House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Silver Lining

on 20 April 2015

My Mom was a wise woman who always looked on the brighter side of life. Even if I lay my head in her lap overcome with tears, she always had a wisdom to impart. She would say “

“Never be afraid of tears for they are pearls of wisdom of our hearts longing to be whole. Let those tears flow for you are a wonderful and wise child of God.”

It’s comforting to know no matter how bad things can get in life there’s always a sliver lining to a dark cloud. My Mom made sure if we did face trials and tribulations that we prayed our way through it. I have to admit I’ve given in to my stress and felt hopeless at times, but I know if God can bring me to it, then he will get me through it. This is something I’m teaching my son who’s anxiety can prevent him from seeing this silver lining.

 So we pray, sing, and hug our way through his worries. I know that’s what my Mom would want me to do. Everything I learned about being a Mom came from her wisdom. And when her mind started failing and her body followed I abandoned all hope to see my silver lining. Through a time of grief, prayer, recovery, and love of my family and friends I made it through that dark tunnel. I talk to my Mom every day and speak of my memories and share her love and wisdoms with my children. 

It saddens me that my youngest never met her and that his brother was his age when she passed. The silver lining that keeps me going is that they can see my Mom in my face, and as I share my own love for their Grandma. I hold her in my heart and look into the eyes of my precious sons and see her there. It makes me feel special like she’s never completely gone. She comes to me in my dreams and we sit and hold hands and speak through our love and telepathy. She always has a knowing smile that she’s aware of everything that I tell her, as she sees it for her own eyes. 

It’s a gift to feel her presence around me when I see a butterfly fluttering around me or a feather falling from the sky. If I could turn back the clock and relive those memories again of drinking tea and chatting I would be so grateful. Or standing together in the kitchen singing and doing the dishes I would. Every time I hear an Elvis song or an Irish tune I feel her singing with me. 

This is my gift and my hearts longing to feel my beloved Mama’s arms around me again. To hear her laughter, laugh at her jokes, and have her call me honey child just one last time. I know this can only happen in my dreams until we’re reunited together again in the afterlife. I take comfort in my memories and the love and guidance that she bestowed upon me as her daughter and later when I became a Mother myself. This is my silver lining and I’m grateful that I have one to cherish. Until we meet again Mom here you stay in my heart forever and always. ?

This has been my Sunday confession with More Than Cheese and Beer please checkout her anonymous confessions on her Facebook page of the same name. As well as all the other talent who link up. Thank you. ?


16 Responses to “Silver Lining”

  1. A mother’s love, absolutely nothing like it. So many of the things you say about your mom, remind me of mine . . . washing dishes and listening to the Beetles, Yard Birds or Simon and Garfunkel. Like you, I receive signs from nature every day. I have saved feathers that have fallen as I think of her. Thanks for sharing.

    • jsackmom says:

      It’s so true no replaces your one and only Mom. I started out just writing about my survival of grief, loneliness, and being saved by my kids. And then it evolved into the whole reason I survived because my Mom was guiding me through it. And that right there is my silver lining. Thank you for sharing your memories of your precious Mom too. ??

  2. Beautiful my dear, keep dancing with love and faith in your heart.

    Hugs from, Laura

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you so much Laura. I had this blog in my head all day what I was going to write. Then it evolved into a tribute of my Mom. The closer I get to Mother’s Day the more I miss her physical presence in my life. I keep listening to the wind and watching the earth for signs. I know I’m my heart she sees me and feels my love. ?

      • I know what you mean, I too think of the grand lady that raised me from under two years old ~ my grandmother…. Keep your heart open for the signs as I know they will arrive just when you need them the most… hugs and much love to you…

        Take care and keep dancing, from Laura ~

        • jsackmom says:

          Oh that’s so beautiful that you had a wonderful Grandma. I did too my Mom and Gram were my light and my loves. They were the best women I could have on my team. On Mother’s Day I honor them both with love and cherish my memories of them. I’m always looking to heaven for my signs. Love and hugs to you dear Laura. I’m dancing with my memories today. ?

  3. Colleen says:

    Beautiful Jeanine !
    It’s 6:00 AM and I am reading …… now typing through my tears …..
    I am thinking about all the things I’ve been taking for granted lately….
    My Mom is 88 yrs. old and lives in Rossland in a senior’s (55+) apartment .. She is in good health for her age…… at this time
    I don’t think I spend enough time with her .. Between my daughter and my grandchildren ……
    I can hardly wait till 8:30 to phone her .. I suddenly miss her now
    We talk on the phone about every other day .
    I have a brother and sister that keep in touch with her too
    I know that today she will be attending the memorial service of a good friend…..oh how hard it must be for her…she is however going with other mutual friends from the same apartment building or I would go over to accompany her.
    Time to spend time with my husband…..
    Have a good day Jeanine!! ?
    I am now getting your blog writings in my inbox so I will be able to read more…

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you so much Colleen for subscribing to my blog! That means so much to me. I’m happy that you have your Mom in your life and that she has some good friends in hers as well. I’d give anything to have a day with my Mom again. I take comfort in the memories I do have of our times together. As we were very close like two halves of the same soul. I’m so glad that you have that connection with your Mom and your family. It’s easy to get swept up in our daily lives and lose touch from time to time. When you do see your sweet Mom next ,give her an extra hug from me. Love to you and yours. ??

  4. joejmedler says:

    Jeanine, this is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing it!

  5. Beautifully written. My mother-in-law passed just a two months before her son and I wed. She passed just four months before my oldest son was born. She never had the chance to meet any of her grandchild but I feel like in their heart my children know her. We have pictures of her and if they ask, we tell them that is,” Daddy’s Mom.” I know that she is looking over her babies.

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you so much for reading. Our children are so wise and they feel those Grandparent guardian angels around them. I’m sorry for your loss as well. ❤️

  6. I feel blessed because I still have both my parents and I feel like I don’t get to see or spend enough time with them since we live miles apart. Reading articles like this remind me that life is too short.

    • jsackmom says:

      It really is a blessing, I agree life really is too short. Enjoy your connection with your parents it’s the best gift to have. ?

  7. Donna Miglino says:

    I love how you hold onto “until we meet again”! Such a blessing to have had her, and to carry her with you??

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you Donna, some days that’s what helps me when I’m riding a grief wave. She was my precious gem and I love that I can share that with you. ?

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