To the woman who judged me #mommitment
To the Mother who judged me, I lay awake thinking of what you said. How you blurted out your casual comment not knowing it was like a serrated knife to my heart. Or maybe you did know that and didn’t care. It felt like you had an agenda the first time you laid eyes on me. We were on a busy commuter bus, going to the same destination; and I thought I’ll never see you again. But I asked you to back off and you didn’t. This is me wearing my heart on my sleeve and pouring out my pain in that moment.
The Judgement Bus
How can you sit there and judge me?
As I look back and read this poem, tears are streaming down my face. I recently became a proud member of The Mommitment Movement, dedicated to putting an end to “Mom Wars.” Its mission is to promote love, acceptance, and kindness instead of judgment.
I’m adopting the motto, ‘I won’t judge you as a Mom, so please don’t judge me.’ We all came into this world the same way, with a beautiful newborn baby – without an instruction manual. The experience I had on the bus made me realize how much I have to reinforce this positive message in my life. I immediately wanted to hurt her like she hurt me and my pride. My son wasn’t even bothered; just happy to have a seat, and to watch life out the window. I won’t change my thinking, my thin skin, or the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I will abide by this code in my backyard, while I tend to the flowers I’m growing. I’ll respect your right to tend to your flowers however you see fit.
After the bus incident, I’m more committed to Mommitment than ever. I can’t change the world around me. I can’t make people accept my son and his special needs. But this is Autism Awareness month, and I can help change his world by spreading more awareness, education, and understanding. Having the force of the proud and powerful Mommitment movement along with a parenting support network behind me, I finally don’t feel so alone on this journey.
To learn more about this game changing campaign, please read the post that started it all.
Love this! 🙂
Thank you so much Lindsay for reading I really appreciate it. ?
Perfect reaction for you, JMom. I hope you make a dent in the judgments. Best to you and your son.
Thank you so much Mark. It was such a shock to my system, but I’m empowered to move beyond it and advocate for my son. ❤️
Very moving poem Jeanine. It beggars belief how some people can still be so ignorant today.
Thank you Mike!!! Yes at first I didn’t know that she was talking to me. Then she looked at my son and started wagging her finger at me!!! In all honesty I was glad my family was with me. It kept my rage at her insolence contained.
I am so sorry this happened to you and your gorgeous boy. There is no job harder than that which you do as a mom and a mother of a child with special needs. Bless you and damned is any who should pass judgement. Let not their ignorance dim the beautiful smile on you or your child’s face. Much ? and the best part is they have to live with themselves and we get to walk away.
Oh my thank you for your beautiful words of comfort and encouragement. I know now I’m better for not engaging in a argument with her. But Mama bear can do more by spreading awareness for my son and for all others who don’t have a voice. ?
A heartfelt and moving poem. It really is sad how we judge and speak without remorse.
Thank you Ameena I really appreciate you reading. I cried bitterly over it for days then this poem came out of me. I knew then I could gain some strength from the experience instead of rage and bitterness. ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your heart so openly. Beautiful. <3
Thank you so much Whitney. Pushing through my pain into the power. ❤️
Yes ma’am! I hate that things like that happen, but they often make you a better mama. You’re doing all the right things!!
It’s so true at the time though I was boiling with rage. But I know that’s what people who want to belittle do to get a reaction. So I persevered and just prayed I could sit still and be quiet. ?
You have inspired me to be committed to Mommitment too! TSM 🙂
Oh that makes me so happy!!! You’ll see me on there too. I can’t wait to see what you’ll write. ?
Oh my dear, I am so sorry to hear about the person who thought their opinion mattered, and felt the need to utter hurtful words. Perhaps, my dear she was jealous of you… ? She rode the bus, same as you and your beautiful son, and felt jealous after seeing the glow of love on your face, shinning out with the amount of love that’s in your heart for your child…. perhaps, she wished she could be as loving a mother as you…. just perhaps she was jealous…
Never allow others to change who you are, and I can see you haven’t given in to that.. I’m for One Very Proud of You ~ Love, from Laura <3
Turn that music up loud, and dance… <3
Oh Laura you always know what I need to read, see, and absorb into my memory. Thank you for the wonderful take on the situation. She seemed far more miserable than me. My family was so excited and wrapped up in that happiness on our way to a fun surprise. I’m sure we radiated that love with our smiles and affection. Her wet blanket dulled us for mere moments, and yes I would wish to have that if the shoe was on the other foot. I’ll be doing lots of dancing as soon as my back heals. Thank you hon, for your beautiful kind heart. ?
I’m so sorry you went through this ordeal. People can be so cruel..thank you for your honesty ..and being so open about it. Judgement stings… more than people know
Thank you honey, the shock of the moment still resonates with me. I do my best to not let my mind go there. But when it does I say a little prayer to just keep rising to the top, so the judgement falls down and I can just walk over it. It’s much better for my psyche and my commitment to Mommitment. ❤️
Oh yes. I get so taken aback when people say egregious hurtful things. .but I try to remember that it’s the hurt in them coming out in a negative manner xo
It’s so true, I have to have super human strength to not spit out something equally negative. There’s no win in a situation like that. ?
Oh yes. we have all done it..we r human. you can only be pushed so far some days !!
Yes human beings just trying to walk through life without being judged. Sometimes I feel I have to be made of bulletproof material. ?
YES that would be a great blog!! I’m not bullet proof! !
Yes it would, do you mind if I write it or do you want guest blog for each other? ❤️
you write it!! I’m knee deep im.kids stuff this week. .but let me know when it’s done I can’t wait to read
Ok love I will do that! Thank you so much for the inspiration. ❤️
It’s easier for some people to just pass judgement without taking the time to become knowledgeable about conditions like autism. I’m so sorry that you and other parents have had to experience this.
It seems to be easier to judge books by their covers. And really it should be about opening up the pages and reading them. Thank you for your kindness and support. ?
I just love the words that come from your heart Jeanine:) Your poem is beautiful:)
Oh Diane, thank you so much for reading and saying so. ? It was a difficult one to write because I let this event bother me for a few days. Eventually I purged the negativity and this poem was the result. ❤️
Glad I read this. NOT glad about what that woman did to you (HOW DARE SHE!) but love that you’re part of such an awesome movement.
And I’m thankful I’m not eligible to join, because I’m FAR too judgy when it comes to things like kids being spoiled, yelled at in public, or smoked near/on. I’m pretty sure I’d fail at the non-judginess after about 20 seconds.
Thank you so much for reading. It was an awful experience I kid you not! I was shocked, angered, and saddened. Mommitment is an incredible movement that has taught me I can’t prepare the world for my son. But I can prepare him to live in that world. ❤️
I just wish you didn’t have to 🙁
I know honey thank you, I wish the same. ?
I always want to build people up. Glad to be just visiting your blog It’s a great topic
Thank you so much for reading and sharing such a important message! We all should be grateful and building each other up. Come and see me at Mommitment ❤️