I’ve put my heart and soul into the words I write. I have spoken and written the truth. It’s the way I live my life, and it’s what I teach my children. But what if I’m asked “Mommy are we going to be ok?” Are we going to find Daddy? How do I answer that when I don’t really know, I’m honest, truthful, as I’ve just said but not this time. The theft of my conscience in that moment rocked me to my core.
It started out as a wonderful night of my husband and I surprising our kids. We were going into the city and going to see our first live Lacrosse game. We drove to the train station and started on our journey. My youngest son loves trains, and we’ve watched Thomas on Netflix on a continuous loop. To say he was excited is the understatement of the year. We started out on our train ride while talking about the sights we were seeing before us.
Half way to our destination we found out the train route was being redirected and we would have to take the bus. So we went from excitement to a new change, which my youngest son doesn’t deal well with it at all. We boarded a very busy bus and sat in our seats. I sat behind the bus driver and my son got really upset because I sat in his seat. I picked him up and set him on my knee, which caused him to really panic. As he was freaking out and flailing in my arms, my husband stood up and I moved him back to his seat.
Everything was under control as I checked in with my oldest son who has problems with being in close proximity to people in crowds. He was coping the best he could, because he could see his brother was struggling. Then I hear a woman talking she says “I wouldn’t have let him have the seat. I did that before and it ending badly.” I looked at her surprised she was even talking to me that’s when the theft of my patience happened. I said “he has autism, back off!” She replied that her son had it too.
I had to stay my tongue even though I was boiling inside. I wanted to say “bitch you take care of your own backyard, and stay out of mine!” But I grumbled to my husband while the ignorant woman’s daughter listened to my every word. We finally reached our destination and the weather was bitterly cold so we ran to the arena. I was very relieved to find our seats and to sit down and wait for the festivities to start. The game was very exciting, action packed, and loud. By the third quarter my son’s were done. So we packed up to leave and started out for the train. It was getting ready to leave so my husband said jump on with the kids, so we did just that. He stayed at the ticket booth and we sat down to wait for him.
The theft of my heart crushed me as I watched the doors close behind me. I tried to open them but the train was moving and the button wouldn’t engage. I sat with my son’s as they began to cry and wail for their Daddy. My own heart was breaking with their pain and anguish. I held them and tried to calm their fears and still my own. We had to get off the train and a woman was telling me instructions on what train to catch. I got out and waited for my husband and after 15 minutes he hadn’t shown up. My oldest began to cry so I hugged him, then my youngest wanted to be held. There was two security guards nearby and they asked how they could help.
I told them of our situation and they radioed security at the last station with my husband’s description. We waited inside the bus terminal and then a man got the hackles on my neck rising up. So I went outside to stand with the security guards. The one was a wonderful British man who started talking to my son’s about sports. He was giving them a great distraction and me the tired Mama, a break. He got the call back and they couldn’t find my husband, so I made the decision to take the train home.
I had told my son’s I wouldn’t leave the city without their Dad. But it was getting late and colder and I believed this was the best decision. When I’ve been lost before I’ve always remembered that if you go back to your original destination, that’s where you’ll find your beginning. As we boarded the train I silently thanked God for protecting us and held my son’s closer. What is it about the late nights that bring the creepy people out?!! Ugh creepy guy at 1:00, as my Mama bear is on high alert. My oldest is squeezing my hand so tight my knuckles are turning white. Yet I don’t say anything but “I’ve got this son, we’ll find your Dad and I have friends that live by the train station.”
He seemed to relax a little knowing that so we start counting the stops and coming up with rhymes. I’m doing my best to occupy his mind as his little brother is loving being on the train. We finally arrive at our destination and see my husband walking towards us. My heart skips a beat and I see him smile with relief. Our son’s run to him and I almost collapse with relief! We get to our truck, warm up my seat and head home. Hoping that I will never have to go through that theft of loss again.
This has been my Sunday confession with www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. Please check out her anonymous confessions on her Facebook page. As well as all the other talent who link up. Thank you for popping by. ?
4 thoughts on “Theft ”
So sorry you had to go through all of that. I’m glad everyone got home safe and sound. Sounds like you had everything very much under control. Sometimes when I am dealing with a rude or ignorant person, which I did so much when I was a server, I would just collect myself and say a little prayer, in my own way, asking for help for that person because they must be pretty miserable in their lives to be so rude or hateful and I dealt with some really rude and hateful people. The meaner they were, the kinder I was. Funny to watch the reactions when people that are intentionally trying to get to you see that they can’t. Not easy to do and I certainly couldn’t do it each time, sometimes you just want to punch someone in the face!! Hahaha! Sounds like you did a great job keeping your children calm which isn’t easy to do when you,as mama, are upset!!
My Mom always said kill them with kindness, even when you want to punch them in the face. I looked at this vile woman who was quite assured in her world. And even though I was seething inside, I knew I was better than her. Feeling that way made me calm, even though I wanted to punch her in the throat! I did my best to exude calm through my fear. As my kids are sponges and pick up on any vibe. Relief, reunited, and rescued never felt so good. ?
This line “When I’ve been lost before I’ve always remembered that if you go back to your original destination, that’s where you’ll find your beginning.” God, this is beautiful. I reached to this part in your story and it’s like I could finally breathe. I am so sorry this happened to you but was so relieved to read everything turned out okay. This was a great article, had me sitting on the edge of my seat the entire time.
Aww Rachel thank you so much for a wonderful compliment. I love that you read my writing so much!!! I’ve been out of the city for awhile so I’m not as savvy as I used to be. I was doing my best to look confident even while my insides were jelly. I will never leave home without a plan B in place, especially an extra key, and it was the first and the last time that my hubby will leave the house without his phone. ?