Able

I’m an able minded and able bodied person. I have abilities to problem solve and work out solutions. When I was in the workforce it was one of my greatest assets. I love to be thorough and research and I always have some kind of project going on. I’m very good behind the scenes about getting things done. What people don’t see behind this able bodied exterior, is the massive complex of anxiety I have. I tend to over think, over analyze, and work myself into a panic attack. My goal for this year was to feel the fear and do it anyway. So that’s what I’ve been doing, I’ve taken my kids on new adventures this summer with that “can do” attitude and even amazed myself. To most this might not sound or read like its a big deal, but to me it’s like climbing Mount Everest!!! I’m proud of these accomplishments, and glad that I could show my son’s that I can overcome this anxiety, I call the dragon within. I’ve always had that motto in life “to fake it, till I make it!” There are times when I’m literally shaking in my boots, but I stand tall and appear stoic. My beloved Mama always used to say be scared but never show it. And she was the bravest woman I’ve ever known. Married at 22, became a Mom at 23, then followed by 3 more children in quick succession. My dear Dad was a logger and he worked in some interesting places. So there was my Mom carving out a home life while living in these camps, in a little trailer in the woods. Four little children, no friends, no family, and my Dad working 16 + hour days. My Mom taught me what it was to be capable and able. My Dad taught me what it was to have strength, work ethic, and values. They both taught me to be able, to find my passion, to keep my head on my shoulders, and my feet on the ground. Together they created 6 able bodied and able minded children that have all had or trials and tribulations in life. We have made it out life’s goal to honour our living parents memory, and pass those values onto our own children. My parents came from very strong and able roots. My Grandparents on both sides of my family survived the Depression, World War 2, and many hardships with my Mom’s Dad away at war. I don’t have a choice but to be strong and able. Over the last week I’ve been meditating with Deepak and Oprah and learning about the energy of attraction. Each day I spend some quiet time learning how to start manifesting the life I want. Today’s lesson was about focusing on my deepest desires. I thought about the things I’m passionate about, that bring me joy, and thought all I want is to feel complete. And then I read this affirmation,

my deepest desire is for completeness.

“In the desire of the One to know Himself, we exist.” โ€” Rumi

So here I am perfectly imperfect and working on having my inner self match my outer self. In each way, every day I’m getting better, better, and better, and more able to rise up and conquer my fears.

This is my Sunday confession brought to you by Ash at www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. Check out her confession and all the fabulous talent that link up. Thank you so much. ?

IMG_1608.JPG

*Image used with permission from www.sharingwithshari.com

Jeanine Lebsack

Writer, research assistant, podcaster, reiki healer, and a passionate advocate for neurodiversity. On my writing journey Iโ€™ve discovered a plethora of passions including writing, researching, entertaining through song and dance, with a desire to explore and create something transformational and healing. I believe in the sacred art of storytelling and that thereโ€™s power in the written and spoken word. Join me on my journey using the magic of words, music, and heart song. I believe we create ripples of energy that flow throughout the universe and by sharing our stories it creates change, positivity, and healing. Have a listen to my podcast on Spotify and Anchor at House of a Writer.

12 thoughts on “Able

  • 10 November 2014 at 12:38 am
    Permalink

    Beautiful post.

    Perfectly imperfect moving towards a balance for a happier and healthier you is a wonderful goal! I think you are able to conquer your fears with the right tools because you have an amazing strength in you. โ™ฅ

    Reply
    • 10 November 2014 at 4:14 am
      Permalink

      Oh Jen, thank you for your kindness always. You’re a great support to me and I’m so grateful. ?

      Reply
  • 10 November 2014 at 8:44 am
    Permalink

    Wow Jeanine, I’m at a loss for words at the moment. A truly amazing post!

    Reply
    • 10 November 2014 at 8:53 am
      Permalink

      Oh wow so am I after reading such a touching compliment. You make my heart super happy my dear friend. ?

      Reply
    • 10 November 2014 at 9:02 am
      Permalink

      Thank you very much John. Yes thats my goal everyday to push through and persevere. ?

      Reply
      • 10 November 2014 at 9:04 am
        Permalink

        You’re doing wonderfully ๐Ÿ™‚ I just tweeted your entire blog…in the hope more can be put in touch with your words.

        Reply
  • 10 November 2014 at 3:30 pm
    Permalink

    You have been blessed with the ability to see yourself on the outside & on the inside, something many shallow people go their entire lifetimes without doing once. That is true bravery, something you are not lacking! Being able to speak of your faults & do it with absolute positivity, is amazing! Life will continue to present you with the challenges you need to grow & master control over your fears as long as you stay intune with your heart as you are now. Love & blessings to you & your family!!!

    Reply
    • 10 November 2014 at 4:12 pm
      Permalink

      Thank you my darling, I’ve never had anyone explain it to me in that way before!!! Such an amazing compliment I’m very blessed to have you as my cheerleader. โค๏ธ?

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.