Solid

It’s no secret that I haven’t felt emotionally solid. The bullying, anxiety, and raging emotions my son has been experiencing has taken its toll on me. Trying to keep him calm and sensory regulating his little brother has become my full time job. Not that I think caring for my kids is my job, it’s my joy and privilege to be their Mom. With a lot more emotional balancing there doesn’t leave a lot of time for me. So I try to take care of myself as well as I take care of my family. One thing I’m very grateful for is my husband. He’s my sounding board for all the research I’m learning, he’s my team mate when I’m struggling and he tags me out and jumps into the ring of life. He holds me so close as my tears fall and threaten to never stop. I’m so thankful that our marriage is rock solid. I have some amazingly solid friendships in my life. These friends have been by my side through my grief, through a premature birth of my son, and 2 job transfers in less than 3 years. These phenomenal women are my rock solid support they love me, respect me, and accept me as I am. I’ve been a solid friend as well supportive, inspirational and comic relief when needed. I know whatever town I’ve lived in I can call on a friend who will be there for me. I’ve been through a lot, and I truly believe that whatever doesn’t kill makes you stronger. I’ve come to realize that I am more powerful than I give myself credit for. I’m starting to learn not to underestimate myself, as there’s too many people in the world that will do that for me. This has been a busy week preparing for Halloween, hockey, and today my Captain’s birthday. I haven’t felt that I had a solid plan other than just holding it together. After all the stress he’s been through in the last while I wanted him to have a solid fun day. We bowled, we danced, we played arcade games, and air hockey. The creeper cake was a big hit, and the presents, and time spent with his friends and family were the special part of his day. I’m so happy he got to feel so loved, appreciated, and has some rock solid friends of his own to cherish. Happy birthday to my Captain, I thank you for solidifying my love for you the first moment I laid eyes on you.

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