Memory

I have a poor memory, it’s not something I like to admit but there it is. It’s not that I’ve always struggled with this, it was something that just happened. I had a photographic memory for phone numbers, birth dates, and numerology. I could relay people’s phone #’s addresses, and list their favorite movie titles when I was a video cashier. Then the day I became a Mom and I was gutted like a fish, and my babies entered the world there went my memory. I read everyday whether it’s book’s, blogs, research, or my Facebook newsfeed. I read to absorb, learn, and grow as a person. I wonder what would have happened to me, if I had regained my once amazing memory. If I hadn’t suffered 5 years of debilitating grief would my ability to retain information be different? I don’t really know, and that’s the first time I’ve ever asked that question of myself…. I rely on my memories of my loved ones I lost, to keep me buoyant on the troubled seas of life. I rely on searching my memory bank and pulling out those moments of my Dad’s laughter, my Mom’s beautiful singing voice, and my Gram and Grandpa saying my nickname. I love to travel back in my memory to the loving Irish lilt spoken by my Great Aunts and my Gram in conversation over tea and scones. It’s my memories that I preserve in scrapbooks, photo albums, and on my camera roll that sustain and give me joy. If I didn’t have my memories I’d have nothing. We all need to store important information, thoughts, and pictures in our minds memory. It’s the very thing that gives up pure happiness, comfort in times of sadness, and the security of knowing just how loved we are. I am always testing my memory by walking into a room, and wondering why the hell I’m there, and what did I need to find. I tease myself and ask my son if I’ve locked my truck when we’re going grocery shopping. He always answers “yes Mom, did you hear the beep?” Will I always have a poor memory? I don’t know, I sure hope not, as I struggle with sleep deprivation and exhaustion. And unfortunately this is one of the most common side affects. And as I slowly change my diet I’m hoping to be lifted out of this brain fog I’ve been in. In order to keep my memory from failing I will read, write, learn, and forgive myself for the things I’ve forgotten. I’ll love the memories that I’ve been able to hang onto, and will cherish them and hold them close to my heart. It’s what my loved ones deserve, and all those moments in time that were once so special to me. And I will create new and beautiful memories with my family and friends. I will make this my upmost priority before they all fade away like moonbeams in the moonlight.

This has been my submission to http://LindaGHill.com for Stream of Consciousness Saturday. The prompt was memory, please checkout what she wrote about, and all the other talent that linked up. Thank you for letting me relive some wonderful memories. ❤️

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Jeanine Lebsack

Writer, research assistant, podcaster, reiki healer, and a passionate advocate for neurodiversity. On my writing journey I’ve discovered a plethora of passions including writing, researching, entertaining through song and dance, with a desire to explore and create something transformational and healing. I believe in the sacred art of storytelling and that there’s power in the written and spoken word. Join me on my journey using the magic of words, music, and heart song. I believe we create ripples of energy that flow throughout the universe and by sharing our stories it creates change, positivity, and healing. Have a listen to my podcast on Spotify and Anchor at House of a Writer.

13 thoughts on “Memory

  • 2 November 2014 at 7:56 am
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    Nothing like a good prompt for writing. I enjoyed this. I have short term memory loss sometimes probably be cause I have a hundred projects going on at once. My mind has a lot of info to keep up with like you since mommy hood my memory attention span isn’t as strong as it used to be.

    Reply
    • 2 November 2014 at 7:59 am
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      Yes it can be frustrating yet I keep on persevering. Its the 100 projects at once that will have to get an overhaul. ?

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    • 3 November 2014 at 6:13 am
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      It’s a difficult road to travel, and I’m vigilant to find ways to cope with the memory loss and retention issues. There’s dementia in my family tree so I do a lot of memory games, crosswords, and word searches. I’m also going to check out the Luminousity website as well. ?

      Reply
  • 2 November 2014 at 5:05 pm
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    I’m in this club too. I have always been able to remember things that happened last year better than something that happened in the last minute. It’s frustrating sometimes but I have learned how to use it. So keep on to the grand memories you do have.

    Reply
    • 3 November 2014 at 5:59 am
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      Thank you my friend that’s great advice. I used to pride myself on my photographic memory, now I’m happy if I can remember where I parked. ?

      Reply

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