House of A Writer

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

A changed heart

on 30 October 2014

Yesterday I picked my son up at school and he was walking towards me crying. Instantly I was on alert to see if he was hurt, asking a ton of questions, checking him for fever. He just got over being sick, so this was his first day back. Through his flowing tears he told me he got teased in gym class. He said he was running laps for his gym teacher. Which were given as punishment for the whole class, because of one yappy kid. So my Captain is running his laps and this other kid comes up to him and calls him weird. So the conversation followed like this.

Bully- “You’re weird!”
My son-” just go away,”
Bully- ” no you’re weird, and your hair’s weird.”

So if you’ve been following along with the bullying topic on my blog, this is the fifth kid and the sixth incident to happen. With further questioning I found out this bully has hit my son before, over a Pokemon game he was watching. In nearly 2 months of school the Captain has been pushed, stepped on, hit, poked, and teased by students in his grade and younger. The school will not recognize this as bullying but as a problem nonetheless. I stated I don’t agree, my definition of bullying is any attempt to make someone feel less than, small, insignificant, and insecure in their mind and heart. The school will only call it bullying if it’s consistent and from the same individual or group. Now I have my child who’s suffering having nightmares, belittling himself constantly, and blowing up like a volcano when he can’t handle everyday life at home. This is not how he’s being raised to be cruel, heartless, mean, and unforgiving. I teach him he is strong, resilient, kind, loving, and God’s child as well as mine. The school thinks giving students who are a problem (bullies) community service is going to help. It’s going to teach a lot of them to be a better bully and not get caught. Tomorrow is Halloween and my sons class is going to have a little party. Everyone will be in their Halloween costumes and my son is afraid to go to school. He’s afraid to wear his costume because he might get teased. I kept him home today he was up must of the night crying, tossing and turning in his nightmare world. I phoned the school explained what had happened and demanded a meeting. This school is huge, overflowing at it’s seams and my son is one of many. But I will not let him be treated like he’s just some insignificant nobody, regardless of the population. This school, these people, these bullies are changing my sons heart. And they do not see, feel, or know what anxiety and sadness they’re contributing too. Before this move he was happy to go to school, make friends, experience new things and love to learn. Now his teacher thinks he needs social cueing as a result of all these difficulties. I assure you my son from the age of 2, has been able to converse with people articulately and efficiently. He doesn’t need social cueing he needs to go to school and feel safe!!! He will only take so much abuse and then he will blow his top like a proverbial volcano. I know this to be true, as I’ve seen it when he’s pushed to the brink. So God help the next kid that picks on him. My Captain has been afraid to get into trouble for defending himself. But he’s given permission from my husband and I to do exactly that. This bullying has changed my sons heart, mind, and spirit. And I have to change it back before it’s too late…..

12 Responses to “A changed heart”

  1. Oh Gosh. This is just heartbreaking. I’m not even sure what to say. Is there a Superintendent you can speak with? 🙁

  2. You and the Captain are in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. 80smetalman says:

    This is absolutely unacceptable. How can they not call it bullying? It sounds like they’re just fiddling about with semantics so they won’t have to do anything.

    • jsackmom says:

      Yes thats exactly it, I can and will be quoting from my research definitions of bullying, bullies, and appropriate ways to deal with this atrocious behavior. I will NOT let them break my son. ❤️

      • 80smetalman says:

        Give them hell! The school needs to stop putzing around and deal with this. On another note, on my last Peaceful Rampage post, I came full circle with the bullying I wrote about in my book.

        • jsackmom says:

          Yes I agree whole heartily. Its killing me to see my son struggling and in so much pain. I will go check pit yoir post. Im not getting anything in my reader feed from your other blog. And I don’t know why. ?

  4. Let me at the teachers staff and the kids parents for five mins. I’ve had my daughter sad a friend was called stupid and she yelled at the kid for picking on another kid and my daughter got caught because she didn’t know what to do so she yelled shut up at the other kids picking on this kid. I had to explain to the teacher what happened and my child wasn’t very happy about going to school because of this kid. Things worked out after all it is first grade. With so many kids in one room we can’t expect them to all be friends but our kids should feel safe while at school.

    • jsackmom says:

      Yes I agree our kids should feel safe at school. And every time a teachers not looking or leaves the room these incidents occur. I still have yet to talk to these kids parents. As the schools poilcy is to protect all their students. Including the ones picking on my son. Kudos to your daughter for standing up for her friend. My heart just goes into overdrive when I drop my son off at school. Its the reason I can’t sleep at night because I can feel my sons pain and frustration. ? I won’t give up though,this Mama bear has plenty of fight left in her yet!!!

  5. grannyK says:

    I fought this same problem while my son was younger and in school. They see teasing as normal kid behavior and turn the other way when it happens, unless there is actual hitting or other physical activity. I raised my kids to be kind to others and to help and not hurt. I am sorry your family is going through this. It is unacceptable behavior! Yes, humans are not naturally kind (my opinion) and very power hungry, but we can be taught! That is the job of the parents and other caregivers. Teach kindness.

    • jsackmom says:

      I agree Granny K those are the values I was raised with, and how im raising my kids. Everyone seems to be fighting for personal space and recognition. I have to teach my son that its better to stand out than be hidden. It’s so sad, and I realize now with his experience how much from my past I haven’t healed from. ? Thank you so much for this dialogue, and for sharing what’s in your heart. ?❤️

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.