Empathic heart

I watched the news tonight I don’t know why I did that. I haven’t watched a news broadcast since the summer and it was for a very good reason. A reason I’ll write about in a future blog. Tonight I saw there was an update about the murderer who shot Corporal Nathan Caprillo. I couldn’t turn off the tv I was transfixed, as I heard the words terrorism, political ideology, and mental health. Then in another news clip my heart nearly split in two, when I saw Nathan’s son dropping the puck at a hockey game in Hamilton, Ontario. A city I know well and spent a lot of time in, since I lived close by. I continued watching, well at this point listening as I folded laundry and tidied up my living room. The reporter was talking about civil war in the Ukraine. At one time a peaceful country, and now taken over by a corrupt government. My mind drifted and I thought of the land my ancestors came from. How they worked so hard farming as pioneers, and then came to Canada to start a new life after a period of war with Austria. I thought of all the hardships they endured, and how moving to Manitoba proved to be disastrous to their livelihood. Due to the soil for farming being to rocky and unforgiving as they struggled to provide for their families. And then by miracle a trip by train to Saskatchewan taken by my Great Grandfather, would bring his family to the homestead, that still resides in my family tree. Then the news broadcast on tv brought me back to reality of scenes of war in the once peaceful Ukraine. I thought of my relatives over there now living in fear, hiding in their crawl spaces while terror is all around them. And an upcoming civil election that the candidates are hoping will unify the war torn country. I thought of my cousins traveling there only a year ago to Kitzman (birth place of my Great Grandfather. And having the pleasure of meeting direct descendants from his siblings. I thought of how my cousins toured through Chianski seeing the museums and the home of the largest pinansky (the worlds largest Ukrainian Easter egg. And how their travels led them to Colomia, Lurrentia, seeing the beauty of the country sides and the hospitality of strangers. Hearing their stories of meeting relatives along the way and finding out family secrets hidden so long ago. And when they arrived in Laviv and Kiev and could already see the rumblings of war. As they witnessed statues and national monuments being taken down. While I was thinking of these events in time, (as I’ve only recently found out about them at the last family reunion I attended) I realized I was staring at an empty screen. In an effort to block out all the pain I had absorbed, I had turned off the tv without knowing it. My poor empathic heart couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve made it a point not to watch the news very often, especially before going to bed. The psychic damage it does to me is hard to repair or reverse. I have always believed if something becomes news than people will talk about it. So I haven’t needed to watch or listen to it on social media. The world is flooded with war, pain, suffering, and loss. And I feel the sensational journalism of competing news stations makes it worse. The feel good stories, the pay it forward moments, and the heroic tales in daily life don’t always make the headlines. And very rarely the top new story or headline in the newspaper. This saddens me because I believe if we heard, saw, and felt those positive topics what an impact they would have on the world. As I write this I have begun to cry, as I’m psychologically wrapped up in these people’s lives, loves, and hearts. So I will have to unplug and take care of my empathic heart, and give it the peace it needs.