Through my Mamas eyes

I look in the mirror and I see my Mom’s face looking back at me. I have her kind, blue, shining eyes, her strong prominent nose, and her lovely lips that spoke the kindest words and covered my boos boos with her kisses. I look at her and want to dive into that mirror and live a thousand lifetimes with her again. Say all the words that were never spoken, ask all the questions I was afraid to ask, and hold her and never let her go. I talk to my Mom always, she knows my daily life, my passions, my cursing jags, and the tears I cry when I’m giving into my pain. She sees my smile and laughter when I’m playing with my precious sons. My acrobatic acts while playing Wii, my screams and giggles when wrestling with them on the floor, and the loving prayers we say at night. She knows their habits, their idiosyncrasies that make them so special and unique. And I know she’s there watching always and cheering them on in their victories. By giving them ethereal hugs and high fives, and always her love and pride. I know she holds me through my sadness, picks me up when I’ve fallen down, and chastises me for how much I drink. ? It’s the things that make me thing that she’s not really gone. And when I’m feeling pure abundant joy she’s there dancing with me, singing silly songs with my kids, and feeling my heart grow with love for them everyday. I see her, I hear her, and I feel her nearby. She’s never far from my thoughts, my heart, or my soul. She bathes me in her kindness, compassion, and strength. My Mom lets me know she’s there with angel messages, birds, butterflies, and music. I hear an Elvis song when I’m deep in thought and grief over her. I feel that love she has for me as I listen to the sweet, soft, melody of Love Me Tender sung so beautifully by her favourite idol. I feel comfort at these times knowing she’s always here with me. And she shares the love with my other siblings and their families. My Mom had the greatest capacity to love, she also could swear a blue streak when she wasn’t feeling in love with something or someone. She could reduce me to laughter in minutes when she’d get into one of her cursing tirades. She would look at me with fury in her eyes but a smile creeping into her lips. It was easy to love and laugh so easily with her. And difficult to stay angry for very long as we were so much alike. To Mom a bad day could be cured with a nice cup of tea, a pastry, laughter, and the gift of song. She was an enigma once you spent time with her you were changed forever. She had a gift of the gab, a flair for the dramatic, and a beautiful voice whether she was singing or speaking. I’d love to sing with her again like those carefree days and feel that power of music uplifting my soul. Instead I have to settle for looking in the mirror and have her smiling back at me. Love you Mama always and forever. ?