Close

There are a lot of times I want to close my eyes to the truth. I want to believe the best about people than seeing and feeling their lies. I want to have faith that the medical professionals I deal with have my sons best interest at heart. I have to fight long and hard to advocate for my children, to get the help and services they need. Today I met with a sleep specialist who I’ve been needing to meet all my life. She was able to pinpoint what was exactly wrong with my son in a matter of minutes. She was very thorough and careful with him as she knew of his sensory disorder. He trusted her enough to let her touch his head, face, and ears which he would go mental about if it wasn’t me. He trusted her as soon as we walked in her office so that allowed me too as well. She told me he was experiencing all his sleep issues due to allergies. He’s an open mouth breather, orally fixated, and has hypotonia of the jaw so I have to monitor him while eating and sleeping. I love my child so much and all this repertoire has been exhausting for us both. Now he will see an allergist and will be put on medication to reduce the inflammation. The Dr said she will treat the sleep apnea when everything else he’s experiencing shows improvement. So my head’s swimming with all this new information, and I go right into research mode absorbing and learning as much as I can. I will be changing to a gluten free diet, increasing his iron stores, and continuing with his sensory diet for regulation. I learned more in that 30 minute office visit than I did in a year of assessment after assessment! I wanted to close my eyes and take it all in, finally someone who was helpful and honest enough to give me answers. And then the tears of relief started flowing as I hugged my boy so tight and shook his Dr’s hand. She is the best of the best and we’re very blessed to have gotten an appointment in the first place. I have prayed for this day to come for a long, long, time. For God to guide me in the direction of health and healing. This amazing Dr even gave me an exam and wants me to get tested for sleep apnea! She said there is genetic preposition to why my son at the age of 3 has it. So there I sat in her office tears streaming down my face and feeling the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders. I live a precarious existence surviving on little sleep, lots of caffeine, little support, and my blogging to keep me sane. And tonight for the first time I close my eyes not in exhaustion, but in gratitude for the blessings bestowed upon my family. I close this chapter in my life being fuelled by caffeine and anxiety to keep me running my household like a fine oiled machine. And I open my mind and heart to new ideas and possibilities, that I’m not alone in my struggles anymore. As I walk this new enlightened path to the truth. Growing closer and closer, to freedom and faith.

Today’s Sunday confession is brought to you by Ash at www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. Please get up close and personal with her blog and all the other amazing bloggers that link up. Much love and respect. ❤️

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Jeanine Lebsack

Writer, research assistant, podcaster, reiki healer, and a passionate advocate for neurodiversity. On my writing journey I’ve discovered a plethora of passions including writing, researching, entertaining through song and dance, with a desire to explore and create something transformational and healing. I believe in the sacred art of storytelling and that there’s power in the written and spoken word. Join me on my journey using the magic of words, music, and heart song. I believe we create ripples of energy that flow throughout the universe and by sharing our stories it creates change, positivity, and healing. Have a listen to my podcast on Spotify and Anchor at House of a Writer.

8 thoughts on “Close

  • 19 October 2014 at 8:38 pm
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    My eyes filled with tears reading this! I am so glad you were able to finally connect with the right doctor who took time to get to know your son (and reached out to test you too!). What a blessing and I am so happy for you dear one!

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    • 19 October 2014 at 9:03 pm
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      Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Its been a long road but I feel so much closer to the truth of my sons struggles. I feel we’re very blessed indeed. ❤️

      Reply
  • 20 October 2014 at 12:07 am
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    this is such an awesome piece. I know the feeling of dr after dr and the helplessness of not being able to just fix it for your child. ahh the things we do as parents to make the world a little easier for them. I hope all gets better with him and what a good job with trying to learn and help him. I’m glad you didn’t just take the first answer given to you and continued to find ways to improve his health. It shows how much you love and care for your child.

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    • 20 October 2014 at 1:16 am
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      Thank you so much!!! Im humbled by your conpliment. Yes as a Mom I wear my heart on my sleeve. But I’m also very stubborn and I’ll fight hard for my children. Thank you for recognizing that, you’ve made me feel so special and understood. ?

      Reply
  • 20 October 2014 at 5:18 am
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    We see the sleep specialist in November. I’m all about advocacy if you ever need a listening ear I’m here to listen.

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    • 20 October 2014 at 5:35 am
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      Thank you so much!!! The plethora of information I received is incredible and yet overwhelming. I know it’s a lot to take in, but getting my son healthy is my biggest priority. ?

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  • 24 February 2015 at 9:33 am
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    Some times our kids are how we ease our fears the most. Sometimes, they know more about how to accept help when we, ourselves don’t. Hugs! It gets better

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    • 24 February 2015 at 5:32 pm
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      It’s so true, my children teach me more about strength and perseverance than any self help book I’ve read over the years. Thank you for reaching out to me sweet Kate, I really appreciate it. Sending big love and hugs back to you. ?

      Reply

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