I think about things that are many different shapes circles that are round, squares that are shaped like a box, and I think about myself and how I fit into this scenario. I’ve always been different, I didn’t think like other kids I was deep, introspective, and I saw a lot more than they did. For underneath the surface lies the truth even if people aren’t telling it. I’ve always been that proverbial square peg in a round hole never quite fitting in, and always going against the grain. This has served my purpose here in life quite well. I either attract like minded people and energy or I repel what is considered the “norm”. I think about myself as a person, my mind, spirit, and my body. I have curves like a race track I was born to hug corners and the people I love. That has always brought me a lot of attention from men and jealousy from women. I never could understand why there could be such an attraction,as I never saw myself as more than my mind and emotions. Feeling the repercussions of the green eyed monster baffled me, as women would think I was flirting with their man if I said hello, or asked the time. I was raised by kind people, and they taught me to be kind in return. I remember the first time I moved to the city and I saw this good looking guy and he looked at me through a window at a restaurant and smiled at me. I in turn smiled back, he walked by and I left the restaurant shortly after. My sister in-law and I walked around downtown as she showed me the sights. I caught this guys eye again crossing the street and he again smiled. So likewise I reciprocated, my sister in-law saw this and became very alarmed. She dragged me into a store and said you never make eye contact with a stranger, and you never ever smile! Well I was perplexed to say the least as all my small town charm wasn’t necessary. And in this particular case she was right as this good looking guy started following us. That was my first and very important lesson and I began to look ahead, confident, and tough, while walking around the city. My brothers advice was keep your head up, and look like you know where you’re going even if you don’t. So the way my childhood shaped me didn’t prepare me for the big city life. I still prefer small towns, but I’ve adapted over the years with each move that I make. And I still shape my personality to how I was raised to be kind, caring, and respectful. I’m still a little different and that’s ok, I don’t need to shape myself into something I’m not. I see that very clearly now as I mature and find more reasons to be comfortable in my own skin. I really like the shape I’m in and make no apologies for that. I think that’s the best part of being a square peg in a round hole.

Today’s Saturday Stream of Consciousness is brought to you by and the prompt is shape. Check out her Saturday thoughts and all the other talent who link up. ?


Jeanine Lebsack

Writer, research assistant, podcaster, reiki healer, and a passionate advocate for neurodiversity. On my writing journey I’ve discovered a plethora of passions including writing, researching, entertaining through song and dance, with a desire to explore and create something transformational and healing. I believe in the sacred art of storytelling and that there’s power in the written and spoken word. Join me on my journey using the magic of words, music, and heart song. I believe we create ripples of energy that flow throughout the universe and by sharing our stories it creates change, positivity, and healing. Have a listen to my podcast on Spotify and Anchor at House of a Writer.

2 thoughts on “Shape

  • 19 October 2014 at 2:12 pm

    Being happy in our own skin is awesome. Just scary when men start following us (I mean off the blog LOL!!).

    • 19 October 2014 at 5:57 pm

      Yes that’s so true, my beloved Mom always said be aware, but never dim your shine for no one. Thank you for reading and following me. ?


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