Well I’m surprised at how fast time is flying by, like seriously flying at the speed of light. Or is that just me and my heart racing? I’m telling you this has been a tough ass month for me.
I’ve managed to make it through the last few Friday’s without inflicting harm on anyone. My son has been bullied in his new school and it’s tearing me to pieces!!! I dealt with immediately and blogged about it, since it brought back a lot of my past icky memories. ?
I wanted to hurt someone, just for a moment, for picking on my sweet boy. I ranted with my hubby about school being a safe place, and our son has every right to be able to learn and grow there as an individual. He shouldn’t have to be watching his back and having to physically move himself every time the bully comes near him! With all this stress and changeable weather I got really sick, like a cold/flu virus from hell. ?
I managed to fold 8 loads of laundry and get 3 put away before I had company on Saturday. My brother in-law and sister in-law came to visit. This was their first time meeting my youngest son, so it was a big deal. It was nice to catch up with them as we don’t see them more than every 3 years. But we live only 2 hours away from each other, so I look forward to more future visits. My kids were excited and in full show off mode for aunty and uncle. So they got away with a little more goofing off then usual. I’ve been sick cranky Mommy lately, so they had to meet fun Mommy sometime. ?
Due to being so sick I got really behind on housework and my responsibilities. So it looked like Toys R Us set a bomb off in my house. Toys everywhere, laundry multiplying like filthy rabbits, demanding kids, and a busy working husband, well something had to give and Mommy blew up!!! I immediately apologized but the damage was done, and I did more harm than good. ?You see my youngest has a sensory condition and requires daily occupational therapy. Feeling like death on a ritz cracker and him and I sharing the same germs, we got nothing done. As the result of that his central nervous system has been over loaded. He’s been biting, spitting, and screaming at the top of his lungs. And my poor frayed nerves couldn’t take one more moment. ? And his brother couldn’t handle all the garbage at school, so he’s been anxious and lashing out at everyone. So one wound up sensory jumper cable of a boy + one anxiety ridden powder keg of emotion boy= BOOM!!!! A massive melt down of epic proportions. ?
I got through the weekend feeling about 75 % and took my time cleaning the house. I had theatre practice that day, which always makes me happy so I went off to that. While I was waiting for the doors to open up, i started thinking about all these toxic emotions. I got myself worked up and I could feel a panic attack coming on. I haven’t had one of those in 2 years so I got scared. I did some deep breathing exercises and took some Bach rescue remedy and carried on with practice. No would’ve known I was struggling to breath into a paper bag 15 minutes before. I’m like super Mom (without my cape, because it’s still in my overflowing laundry basket) ?
I didn’t get as much as I wanted to accomplish this week done. So I’ve been beating myself up about that. I have kind, encouraging, words for everyone when they need it but when I need it the most, I’m the last to give it. I know I suffer from “Mommy comes last syndrome” and it sucks. I need to make some changes and continue putting my emotional, physical, and mental needs first. Well that is after everyone has clean clothes, food in their bellies, and a clean diaper for my toddler. ?
I took a one week fitness challenge and failed miserably. Being so sick I was living off of tea, water, and soup. So I didn’t follow the meal plan and I was too weak and dizzy to do the exercises. So time to repeat that challenge and work a little harder, especially on my self worth as that’s been in the toilet lately.
As we were feeling 90 % better my little one and I went to play group. It was nice to see some Moms I knew, meet new ones, and see my son playing and having fun. I also took him to the playground which is great exercise for us both and instant OT. ? I made plans to visit with 2 of my dear high school friends as we live close by each other. I didn’t realize how lonely I felt till they appeared in my kitchen. I wanted to cry, squeal with joy, and hug them all at once. I held back a bit on my over enthusiasm, as to not overwhelm them. I took a pic before we had rush off for school pickup and posted it on my Facebook. Our smiling faces started a thread of comments and 65 likes and counting. It seems a lot of our other high school friends want to have a reunion. Our happiness brought their happiness out, and to me that was the best gift of the week. ❤️
Today’s Friday’s Feats and Failures brought to you by the brave and beautiful Ash of www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. Check out her week and all the other fantastic bloggers that link up. Smooches my dear readers, you keep me smiling and brave enough to face another week. ?