What would they think if they really knew what went on behind my eyes? As my hot, salty tears, fell relentlessly on my tear stained cheeks.
What would they think of all the days, nights, minutes, hours, and years I wasted crying for those days gone by?
Would they care, would they feel remorse, would they shed a tear themselves?
What would they say if they knew how I cursed them under my breath time after time? As their endless torment rained down upon my ears.
What would they do if I fought back, and finally let them taste the defeat of their own demise?
What would happen if the victim after years of torment, became the bully?
What if I haunted their dreams with hearing the poisonous venom dripping from my tongue? Words spewed with hate, violence, and pain.
What would they think, feel, do, or become after that torment day after day?
What if I ever did realize those forbidden, evil, maniacal, thoughts in the cobwebs of my mind?
What would become of me? My soul, my faith, my mind, my heart, my sanity?
What if I became the nightmare that I feared, loathed, and despised?
What if all the love, faith, kindness, compassion, and goodwill seeped out of my body like a deep, open wound.
What if I grew into the hatred, pain, and anguish?
What if I became a monster of all these painful memories that have kept me awake endless nights?
What if I became the epitome of REVENGE?
No every shred of my human decency forbids it! I’m loved, cherished, and valued. I will not lose myself to the sins of those others. I will become reborn, renewed with hope, love, my faith in God.
I will not become their choices, their thoughts, their sins, their hate!
I may write about it in an imaginative way, but I will never allow myself to taste the bitterness of revenge.

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Jeanine Lebsack

Writer, research assistant, podcaster, reiki healer, and a passionate advocate for neurodiversity. On my writing journey I’ve discovered a plethora of passions including writing, researching, entertaining through song and dance, with a desire to explore and create something transformational and healing. I believe in the sacred art of storytelling and that there’s power in the written and spoken word. Join me on my journey using the magic of words, music, and heart song. I believe we create ripples of energy that flow throughout the universe and by sharing our stories it creates change, positivity, and healing. Have a listen to my podcast on Spotify and Anchor at House of a Writer.

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