My love letter to heaven

Today I’m thinking of a special lady, an angel, my Mom on her birthday. The closer I get to this day the more I feel her around me. I hear her singing when Elvis plays on the radio. She was a huge fan of his, and I was raised with an appreciation of his music. My Mom had a beautiful voice, amazing smile, and deep love and respect for God, and her family and friends. She also had this incredible sense of humour, and could impersonate anyone after spending a few minutes with them. I think back to all the skits she performed for me from Carol Burnett, Wayne and Schuster, and Abbot and Costello. She could also mimic her friends, and she could keep them in stitches with her antics. My Mom brightened up so many peoples days other than my own. With her comedic talent, ability to really listen, and make you feel like you were heard and valued. I always said she had her own fan club as my friends came by our home to talk to her just as much as visiting me. She was so loved, admired, cherished, and appreciated by family and friends alike. She had nicknames for all her children, pets, and Grandchildren and they always made us feel so special. My Mom always had a joke to tell, a pot of tea, and friendly ear to chat. And she was a gifted writer and would write stories, her thoughts, prayers, and jokes. Her and I collaborated on many stories and would take turns starting a story and finishing it. We also sang together the classics from her era, our Irish heritage, and songs from my youth. My Mom was my best friend, and even when dementia robbed her of her memories, she was my greatest gift. I still acted like her memory was all there, because I didn’t want to confuse her. I was more gentle with her, how I held her hand, hugged her, and spoke to her. Sometimes she’d retreat into her mind and I couldn’t reach her. Those were very painful moments as I’d stare into her eyes and wonder where she had gone. And she’d smile and pat my hand, and fall asleep with me cuddled beside her. I adored my Mom, the passion she had, the fire in her anger, and her devotion to her loved ones. She loved my husband and had a special smile and a nickname for him. And when I gave birth to our son and she called him a magnificent living doll. I felt so proud and couldn’t wait to phone her and thank you for being my Mom. Becoming her daughter was my blessing, and I was so excited when she held her Grandson. She knew of my second son, and it was my greatest joy to tell her I was expecting him after a trying time of grief. She’d pat my tummy with her eyes brimming with tears and call him the marvellous one. My Mom had psychic abilities and visions and she never told a lot of people. She had always had strong awareness and knew the instant I had encountered trouble. These were the days before everyone had a smartphone and were instantly reachable. She’d look in my eyes and know if I just had my heart broken, or encountered something scary. I could never hide what I felt, what I wanted to stay, because our connection was deep. And now that connection extends from earth to heaven. And I was told by my wise and wonderful friend, when I’m experiencing my greatest joy, she can come through to me and feel that joy as well. She touched my heart, my spirit, and she was my greatest love. So today I honour her with a kiss to heaven, an Elvis song fest, and a glass of wine. Well who am I kidding? It will be more like a bottle she was a class act! To you Mama, always and forever my love and respect, happy birthday. 

Jeanine Lebsack

Writer, research assistant, podcaster, reiki healer, and a passionate advocate for neurodiversity. On my writing journey I’ve discovered a plethora of passions including writing, researching, entertaining through song and dance, with a desire to explore and create something transformational and healing. I believe in the sacred art of storytelling and that there’s power in the written and spoken word. Join me on my journey using the magic of words, music, and heart song. I believe we create ripples of energy that flow throughout the universe and by sharing our stories it creates change, positivity, and healing. Have a listen to my podcast on Spotify and Anchor at House of a Writer.

2 thoughts on “My love letter to heaven

  • 14 September 2014 at 4:45 am

    This is beautiful! It made me feel as if I, too, knew your mom. A heartfelt read! Thanks for sharing with BlogDiggity! =)

    • 14 September 2014 at 4:55 am

      Thank you so much for the beautiful compliment. ?❤️ I wish you could’ve of known her, she was a treasure. ?


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