Going without sleep does strange things to a person. You begin to forget what day it is as your days and nights merge into each other. There’s never enough hours to even catch up and the mood swings are crazy!!! Odd little scenarios play out in my head “my name Mrs. Bitchy, and I’ll be your bitch today.” After I’ve been sleep deprived for a few days I’ve been known to be the mayor of bitchyville. Everything starts to suffer like my relationships, my household, my projects, and my health. As everything in my world starts to focus on sleep as I count how many hours I get, and how much I’ve lost. I become a “Mombie” living on snacks and caffeine. My kids begin to forget what a fun Mom I used to be as this shell of Mom takes her place. And the guilt I feel is crushing, even debilitating. I want to be able to whisk my kids away with fun and laughter for an awesome adventure. All the things that cause me to have sleepless nights begin to wear on me and my patience runs thin. But then there’s a glorious night when I get more than four hours of sleep and I survive to face another day. So here’s to sleep filled nights, caffiene, cuddles, love, laughter, and happiness. Because without these things my world would be a dark place indeed.
*Update: I wrote this blog awhile ago but didn’t post it. I felt guilty because I wasn’t feeling like the best Mom. Since I wrote it my son was diagnosed with sleep apnea at the tender age of 3. Now I persevere with little rest, always researching, and looking for someone and something to help my son. Power to all parents who advocate for their children. You all rock in my book.